Things I am good at this week........piling up papers, procrastinating, walking past unfinished projects, sitting on the couch watching TV, basically accomplishing nothing.
Things I am not good at this week.....having patience while my husband finds the right rim for my daughters jeep, creating a solution to an enormous Planning Commission problem that was complicated by a personal problem with a colleague, waiting for the dishwasher to be repaired, getting bids out, doing my knee exercises and the website for my business went down.
I have created chaos for myself.
I hate it, it is frustrating and when I get frustrated chaos wins.
But the story has a happy ending. As I was lying in bed this morning thinking of all the things I hadn't done well this week (who needs Hallmark when you have my brain like mine?) I started to pray.....I started to pray to be better, to do better....when I heard this..
"You is kind, You is smart, You is important"
Thank you Aibileen, thank you Kathryn Stockett for marking my soul with that line, and thank you God for putting it in my head this morning.
We all have stretches of chaos. I had a lot to do that wasn't fun or particularly easy, it is easy to get sucked in by it all.
And then Robin Williams died.
I spent time this week watching him on old Mork and Mindy shows and bits from Johnny Carson. I remember how he made me laugh when I needed to laugh, and how incredible I thought his mind was......how I never knew which way we were going because I knew he didn't either! And it was fun.....just plain ole fun. I listened to people who had loved working with him, and to people who decided they knew why he died. None of that mattered, because their experience wasn't mine. I never met him, I never even saw him perform in person....but for me he was Mork, and he was Sean Maguire in Good Will Hunting, he was the Genie in Aladdin, he was Adrian Cronauer in Good Morning Vietnam.....and he was a true favorite.
As I processed this loss I realized I get to grieve and I didn't have to be related to him Or even personally know him to feel a real loss.
He made us all laugh and we will miss that a lot.
So the swirling chaos I found myself in was partly finding solutions for a problem, dealing with people, doing things I don't like to do and being sad.
I am so grateful those words came to me this morning.....
"You is kind, You is smart, You is important"
I hope you all remember that too, it can be said about all of us.
