Words, Words, Words

I was young when I heard the word "cryptic".  It had such an intriguing sound...cryptic.  I "looked it up" - for those of you without a 20th Century play book, that was the phrase we used instead of "google it".

Cryptic means mysterious.

Chasing words has been my passion ever since. I love words, short words, long words, and in between. It has been an intention of mine to use as many words as possible. Especially after I heard William Buckley, an incredible wordsmith, answer a reporter as to why he used so many big words.
He paused for a moment and said, "what would a piano concerto sound like if you only used the black keys? I use all the words"

Stringing words together is something that touches my soul in a way few things do. And reading beautiful writing is a joy. Rarely do I have the time to polish what I write. I dislike how many times I use "I".  That is just one of the many weaknesses in my writing. My kingdom to attend a creative writing class...all day long, for weeks. So many times I have regretted not taking advantage of my college classes. Youth was certainly wasted on me.

I yearn to sit at the feet of someone who can untangle my process and guide me through to a place where I can express what is truly in my soul.

And that is the key to happiness isn't it? Finding your passion and pursuing it, whether it is cooking, or sewing, gardening or ceramics...maybe you want to be a speaker or a designer. Maybe you want to turn sugar into salt. It's not too late.

Just be it.

I have sold one piece of writing in my life, one....yet I have the stones to call myself a writer. And why not?

Who makes the definitions anyway?

Very few things are really outside your grasp.

Go! What are you waiting for? Go be that person...Go!!

Darth Vader and the Fart Heard Round the World

In spite of the dramatic and difficult things happening in the world today, we cannot forget the universe also conspires to give us gifts to just makes us laugh. Remember the line from Modern Family when the new iPad comes out on Phil Dunphy's birthday? Phil says, "It's like God and Steve Jobs got together and said, "Happy Birthday Phil!"

Unexpected gifts that make us smile still occur.


Something like this...

This is my funny friend Greg, just a regular guy dressed up as Darth Vader for Halloween. His wife Trish is Princess Leia.

Greg and Trish

Before Halloween festivities Greg tried out the new hoverboard his boss gave him. As he made his big entrance Trish filmed it and caught his spectacular wipe out. His daughter Hayley came right over and asked if he was ok, Greg said he thought he hurt his shoulder. Hayley then asked if she should call 911. Greg said, "Are you crazy? I don't want anyone to see me like this!" Greg's 5 seconds of life have gone viral on viral - over 100 million views. He has been on Jimmy Kimmel twice, Inside Edition, Extra, Good Morning America and simply all over the world. He had 11 million views just in Denmark alone.  (?)  The Universe conspired to make my friend Greg laugh. The story those 100 million people who watched Greg don't know is just 8 weeks before that night, his incredible son David was killed in an driving accident.  David was on his way to work out when he was hit by another car. He died at the scene, an unbelievable tragedy. David would have loved this video and would have taken a lot of joy laughing at his dad. Who knows, he might have even been behind it, and enjoyed it even more knowing Greg can't get him back.

Another story of unexpected consequences is my cyber friend Elaine Ambrose. She is an award winning author of 10 books, 450 blog posts and many magazine articles.  One fateful day she farted in an MRI machine during a test on her knee then went home and wrote about it. read it here It is one of the funniest blogs I have ever read. The best part? Watching it go viral. It was picked up by several online magazines that she regularly writes for, then translated into German, Italian, Korean, Japanese and French. After reading and enjoying the blog, people would google her name, go over to Amazon and buy her books! Brand new fans. Fans from a fart. Fart fans.

This is what life can do if you let it. Trish and Greg easily could have stopped living after David died. They could have decided that to smile again would be impossible. But look what happened when they went on living.....

Elaine could have gone home and put her head under a pillow and concentrated on being embarrassed, embarrassed with a bad knee and an inability to stop a fart. But she didn't, she wrote about it and let us all laugh with her and she has so enjoyed what the world gave back to her.

There are gifts life has to offer....in the worst of times, when we least expect it, from the silliest places...

Life is still good. I promise

Bacon, you're breaking' my heart

Today I read a post from a Facebook friend that a drunk driver had plowed into a wall in front of her home at 2 in the morning. I commented that I can eat bacon and still drive. Just saying.

Then I read this column by my great friend Ann Cannon today. I adore this woman, she makes me cry and laugh in the same breath.

But in this instance she speaks truth, so read and enjoy!!!

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Ann Cannon: Bacon, you’re breakin’ my heart

BY ANN CANNON

THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

PUBLISHED: NOVEMBER 3, 2015 02:20PM
UPDATED: NOVEMBER 2, 2015 10:00AM 

Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune
Ann Cannon

Dear Bacon,

Is it true what The World Health Organization says about you? That you’ll give me cancer if I don’t quit you? I think the WHO is serious about their claims, too. According to an NPR report, they’re putting you in the same category as asbestos and smoking. SMOKING! Who knew? So instead of cutting class and sneaking a smoke in the bathroom or the high school parking lot, rebellious teenagers all across America can just eat some bacon instead?

Oh, Bacon. You’re the bad boy of the food world these days. You might as well just slick your hair back, put on a white T-shirt and a Levi jacket a la James Dean, and throw smoldering glances from the driver’s seat of your El Camino at all the girls who walk by. They’ll have a hard time resisting you, of course, even though their mothers (as well as the World Health Organization) will tell them not to get involved with you.

“Bacon will break your heart!” They’ll say. “And also clog your arteries! Who needs a boyfriend that clogs your arteries?”

Answer: Me, apparently.

Bacon, I fell under your bad boy spell years ago. Like, when I was in kindergarten. To me, you were the best part of every breakfast. Certainly better than oatmeal. Even better than the silver dollar pancakes my friend’s dad used to make at slumber parties. He was famous for his pancakes that were the size of — wait for it! — silver dollars. And he always instigated a competition to see who could eat the most.

“Hey, girls!” he’d say. “Who can eat the most?”

I won. Always. And then I was rewarded with more pancakes.

But, Bacon, I would have preferred to have YOU as my reward. Anytime. All the time.

I still feel that way, too. And I don’t just like you for breakfast. I like you in my sandwiches and soups. I like you sprinkled on top of my salads and baked potatoes. I like you wrapped (lovingly) (like an embrace) around my meat loaf. 

I also like you for dessert.

The first time I ever flew into Eugene, Oregon to visit my son and his wife, we did not pass, “go,” we did not collect $200 when they picked me up at the airport. Instead, they drove me straight to Voodoo Doughnut where we ordered Bacon Maple Bars. I’ve since sampled maple bacon doughnuts from other establishments, but none has compared to that first sublime introduction.

(And speaking of desserts, I also like chocolate-covered bacon. As if that even needed to be said, duh.)

But whatever. That’s not the point. The point is that you’re a bad boyfriend, Bacon, and I need to quit you. But can I? I have the feeling that even after I send you packing in your El Camino, I’ll still be stalking you online, seeing what you’re up to. And every time you update your status as a key ingredient in everything from bacon jam to bacon-wrapped dates stuffed with cream cheese to brie and bacon pasta (with basil!) to bacon and cheddar scones, my heart will break a little.

That’s right, Bacon. Our mothers were right about you. And they would know.

Because our mothers loved you, too.

Sincerely,

Ann Cannon

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© Copyright 2015 The Salt Lake Tribune. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

It's November!

It's November!

The month we used to set aside for gratitude and pumpkins which is now simply an extra 30 days of Christmas.

If you let it.

Maybe you love Christmas so much that an extra month of Andy Williams reaffirming this is indeed "The most wonderful time of the year" is right up your alley. If so, my hats off to you, no critique from me...ever.

But I don't want to look past November because I do think it's a month set aside for gratitude and pumpkins.

Did you know if you write down 3 new things you are grateful for every day, after 21 days your brain starts scanning for positive things rather than negative?  I'm going to do it.

And did you know if you clean out your closet knowing that your cast-offs will go to someone who will really use them it's easier to give them away? I did it the other day...it works.

And did you know that if you watch a clip about a little boy and his brother you will smile.....

You really will, I did.