In Case You Thought I Have This Whole Thing Wired....

I talk a good story....peace, positive energy, smiles....solutions appear problems solved...life is good. I know its true I wrote about it just the other day. Two wolves? Remember? One had negative traits the other had positive traits. And then I made the connection between the second wolf who was the peaceful one also being a powerful wolf, of course making the case that the positive wolf is the one we want to follow.

Rainbows.......

And then I tried to refill my husband's prescription.

As you may or may not know both my husband and I were hanging by a thread health wise. We quickly became conversant with health insurance, lots of prescriptions, doctors, more health insurance, and the need for patience. We were told one of the main things to avoid when you have heart issues, is stress.

If that is the case, you should also avoid:
1.) Traffic
2.) Money - making it, spending it, managing it.....even spelling it
3.) People
4.) Doctor Appointments
5.) Politics
6.) Social Media

I have been helping my husband keep up with his medicine and when the pharmacist was filling the prescription she nonchalantly mentioned the new medication's copay was $500. I immediately asked if there was some other medication it could be substituted for. There must be a box of leeches in the back somewhere that would suffice, right?

They agreed to fax the doctor. Call us in a couple of days.

One week goes by....I call the Doctor. They will handle it.

Another week goes by, we go into the Doctor's actual office. They will handle it.

Another week goes by and the phone call is the same as all the others, we are researching the medication and will handle it.

Another week goes by and the story now is the Doctor has been out of town and only he can rewrite the prescription. That makes sense but he was in town when it all began..right?

Today the story is different again, and no surprise it is now our fault.

As I was wrestling with my human frailties and obvious hypocrisy I thought I would come clean and make the record clear.....the second wolf is still the most powerful wolf, no doubt, but that first wolf can push you to your limits.

I know my thesis is correct. Negativity is devoid of light, therefore it is devoid of solutions, because you can't "see" anything in darkness. When I am frustrated, angry and anxious solutions are beyond my reach. People that can help don't appear, the ones that are in front of me are not at all motivated to help. In our health debacle I have been very clear that it's new territory for us. My husband and I went from never having to deal with insurance companies to doing it constantly. We have gone from no medication to lots of medications. We are maneuvering medicare, pharmacists, doctors, side effects of medications and dealing with the after effects of our health issues. With each new saga we find ourselves in a definite learning curve. And just as with every other new thing I have done, it can be daunting.. Algebra comes to mind as does my first pregnancy and starting a business.

So what is the solution? I can only tell you what I did.

After a full morning of zero sucess, I stopped. I simply stopped. What I was doing wasn't working, so I needed to change lanes, pull over, and start over.

I concentrated on breathing....it is centering. It takes you from focusing on your problems to just breathing.

As soon as I was calm I started calling anyone I could think of that could give me answers to my questions. I reached out to the insurance company and asked them to tell me what I should have done from the beginning. What language should I have used? What questions could I ask that I didn't know to ask? How long do I wait in between queries? Should the doctor know what medications are covered and which ones aren't? I was taught a long time ago a good question is better than a good answer.

And then I waited.

I wrote down the answers the woman started to give me. I collected phone numbers of the pharmaceutical advocacy team that I could call right from the doctors office.

Knowledge made me calmer.

Then the doctor's office called with a sample of the medication he has needed for a month. She explained that would give us needed time to work out the problems we were having.  She offered to spend time with my husband to go over his medications and make sure he was getting what the doctor intended.

I am sure your situation is different from mine, but the pattern is the same. We live in a fallen world filled with people just like us who are dealing with all the nonsense of the world and gravity....so you can give in, or.......

Stop -  pray or simply meditate
Breathe  - give yourself a minute to refocus
Think - what is my real problem?
Ask good questions - good questions come from understanding what the real problem is
Listen - Have faith and trust that a solution will come
Act - take action on the answers that come to you

Each step brings you closer to the solution you need. And each step brings more light and more power. Remember the second wolf is also a wolf and because of that is powerful.

None of this is easy, our default emotion is negativity, but with practice, you can learn to master your emotions.

Ta Dah!

My husband just walked in with a month's sample of the medicine he needs and a big smile.....

Life is good.

The Wolf Within You

Finding peace has been my quest over the last few years. I have met a great many friends on this personal journey, so I know it is a shared need.

We all look for peace....and if I could add something I have learned on my quest maybe you will find it useful.

I know this for sure.....Peace brings power.

In the past I felt unless I was angry, fired up and annoyed activism would not occur, and angry activism was the only way for change to occur.  I was very foolish because anger clouds our thinking and keeps us from the best solutions that are right in our path.

The world is an angry place.....joining that anger will not bring peace. There is no energy in anger that can actually change anything. Only peace brings power and power is what we need for change.

Protests and demonstrations born out of hatred have no staying power because they just destroy. We have only to look to Martin Luther King who is everyone's hero to see how change is really made. His voice is one we all listened to, even the evil voices eventually listened to him. Great leaders bring us together and encourage us to feel no matter what our opinions are they love and care about us. As a small girl in the south, I felt Martin Luther King loved me, I felt love from him because he was no respecter of persons. His focus was equal rights and he loved all people. If you are going to offer a path to change then you must have a love for all people, not just the ones who agree with you.

Remember this?

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life, "a fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogant, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "the other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The Old Cherokee simply said, "The one you feed." 

One point we miss in this legend is there are 2 wolves...the wolf of joy and peace is still a wolf. Still powerful and strong. No one says you must sit idly by and do nothing. Be a wolf, but be a wolf of infinite power guided by peace. Not a wolf limited by anger.