Slow and steady wins the race.
Over the last few months I have been writing about fears, new exercise life, challenges, endurance, goals, and did I mention fear? I know I did but I mention it again because fear is my bugaboo. I have let my fears get in the way of almost everything. I almost didn't start Biometrix because of it. I have studied fear in an effort to overcome the crippling effects of something that is only helpful if you are being chased by bears. Fear will keep you from reaching your potential and what is more awful than that? I am learning to let things go, to concentrate on positive outcomes instead of negative ones. Using the motto Slow and Steady wins the race I have been patient with my progress and tried to relax as I steadily chip away at my fears.
And then this happened...
I made a clerical error at work.
When I first realized I had to face this head on I panicked and developed nausea immediately. Fear appeared immediately. And then I had a clear thought..."you have been practising for a chance to prove to yourself you can overcome fear, use what you have learned." I didn't calm down right away, but I didn't throw up either.
I am happy to say I have functioned this entire weekend knowing I have to face it first thing Monday morning....very unusual behavior for this fearful girl. My usual MO would be to slip into the fetal position and stay paralyzed without the courage to just face it, deal with it and move on.
I know the hard work I have done at Biometrix by working out three days a week lifting weights, doing wall sits (by the way they are awful...30 seconds has never felt so long) and squats and rowing and and and has allowed me to see I can do hard things. I didn't realize a commitment to working out that has made me physically stronger could also help me with emotional strength. When you improve one part of your life other parts cannot help but progress.
Change is not easy. Facing hard things is not easy as I am heavy into avoidance, but I can do it. I find a great deal of strength in my faith. The other day I listened to a talk about having faith the size of a mustard seed and how that is all you need to move mountains.
Do you know how much faith that is? Not very much.
Get started with this much faith by believing in yourself.
Tomorrow I am expecting a miracle, success, and a positive outcome. This attitude has not come quickly, but I believe in concentrating on the positive aspects of everything and not expecting things to change quickly. I have gained strength from the little successes I have experienced and I know tomorrow will be a large success because I am facing the problem and I will deal with the outcome.
I have already won....and it feels so good!