The Ripple Effect

I found out that a dear friend passed away today.  I knew it was coming, she wrote about it often and bravely. (Craigandmichele.blogspot.com)

But that didn't make the finality of her passing any less painful.  I was away all day and when I got home my oldest son told me of her passing, he knew her well also, her children, my children...we are all intertwined.  After he told me I did what we all do nowadays, I went on Facebook and read hundreds of posts.  Then my younger son called....a mom died.  Someone's mom that he knew very well.  Children his same age...a mom his mother's age.  Mortality is real.

I read the condolences, all written for a life well lived.  This could have happened to any of us.  We all know that.....Her last blog post was simply profound, she explained death in a way I had never thought of before.  Although it didn't lessen our loss, it was a balm of Gilead, and so poignant that it came from her.  I am going to print that last blog to put on my desk.  I am grateful I knew her, and knew her well.  We worked on articles together, she critiqued my writing, encouraged me to continue...to write!!  We spoke of precious things, sacred things.  She shared some of her deepest heartaches with me as we traveled a similar road for a while.  We spoke more than once how grateful we were "in it together" so to say.  To have someone truly understand a difficult path is a gift, and we both felt it.

I will miss her, but so, so many will miss her.  Hers, was truly, a life well lived.

But then something else occurred.  Something completely unexpected....I am member of a group of women on Facebook called "The Women of Midlife".  It is a group of amazingly talented women who write, market, publish, troubleshoot and support.  I love to write and this group gives me permission to write and fail, to write and succeed.  To laugh with me, cry with me, pout, get angry or simply just throw things.  I am intimidated to no end by these women because they are what my daddy would call, "real writers.....you know the ones who get published."  And I am...well, not published.  But it doesn't matter, they still let me sit at the big kids table and talk about self-publishing, and book tours and being on TV and radio...and the internet.  I love reading about their agents and dead raccoons, being on TV with people I have actually heard of.  So tonight when one of these "real writers" said she was going to write a book I had to post about my friend Michele....

This is what I wrote.....

"After Lisa just posted she intended to write a book I knew I had to write to all of you.  A dear friend of mine died today.  A vibrant author, mother of 5, grandmother to lots and friend to all.  She was a writer of books, magazines, articles and music.  She chronicled her illness through her blog for the past couple of years.  Her last post was Saturday, she wasn't bitter about dying, but very sad to leave her family.  If she was writing to you right now she would tell you to write, write that book, article, essay, whatever...but write!!  We all have goals hidden down under our angst, or tucked away from our confidence.  You can sit for an hour every day and put your words down.  You can!!  If you can work out for an hour, or blow up Facebook for an hour, or text or shop or watch TV you can spend an hour writing.  My friend left behind a great deal of work, an amazing legacy which leads me to wonder if I will achieve my goals, or just talk about them?"

Here is the amazing part, I immediately recievied an outpouring of love from so many of the women....so many!  Such beautiful sentiments and cyber hugs....Michele's death was personal to me....but by way of the nexus of friendship her death touched women she never knew.

It's called the Ripple effect...

"The Ripple effect is based on the understanding that we are all connected.  These connections stretch like an incredibly interwoven and complicated tapestry.  Each of us exists within this tapestry.  Thoughts and actions are like stones dropped in a pond and they create ripples that travel outward."  (http://humanityhealing.org/who-we-are/the-ripple-effect/)

We are all connected, whether we want to admit that or not.....I am connected to Michele and in a Facebook post I connected her to other women and they accepted the connection....  

I have put a note on my computer, "an hour for Michele"......I will write an hour a day for her.  It doesn't have to be profound...it just has to be an hour.  

To my close friends who are sad at Michele's passing, we were so blessed!!  And that will never go away.  

Ponder the ripple effect, because no matter how quiet you think you are living your life, you are creating ripples....we are all much bigger than we realize.

We just need to know one thing, where are your ripples heading?

In memory of Michele Garvin...her legacy is long.  

To the nasty little crone who lives in my head....

Yeah, that's right, there is a nasty little crone who lives in my head.  I keep her tied up and gagged most of the time, but every once in a while she escapes and darts out of my mouth before I can stop her.

For instance the famous altercation between the crone and a particularly unpleasant woman at a Wednesday church class of all places, who wanted to meet me in the parking lot.  The crone was out of line, she didn't have to suggest the woman's parents were never married, but once she said that I had to defend her. Or watch her get pummeled.

Then there was the referee at a volleyball game.
The principal at the high school
The home developer who wanted to build a shopping mall too close to our home, the crone went crazy over that one
My husband's employee who had all of our mail forwarded to the football hall of fame after he was fired.  (if that wasn't so clever I would have been mad too)
A certain football coach of my son's that I had to save from the Crone's threat of baldness and impotence
The unfortunate confrontation at the DMV.  The crone asked if this one particular employee got up that morning with the intent of ruining everyone's day.
The woman at the Scout office who had the Crone fired from a volunteer job!

There are other situations so I don't need to go on and on.  It has not been easy keeping the crone under wraps when all she wants to do is rant.  She sees one thing out of line (oh please don't bring up politics!) and makes the day very interesting for everyone.

And then there was yesterday.  I was watching the movie produced by my church (we are fabulous at short vignettes - used to motivate or uplift.  there is one for almost anything, from death, divorce, illness, being bullied, being a leader....all of them amazingly well done and fun to watch)
But yesterday I watched one that didn't live up to usual clever writing, great filming and entertainment.  The whole movie was about 8 minutes long and I didn't like 30 seconds of it.  Not too bad right?

The crone took it much harder and far more serious than I did.

The upshot of the movie is service.  And particularly the service of one young mother of 3 small children.  No matter what plans she had someone or something got in the way.  Ever had a day like that?  How about almost every day, right?  Her whole game plan was to get through the day, greet a babysitter that evening and drive to the airport to meet a cousin who had a layover.  With all she did she deserved a break to visit a family member!!  She had quite a day, she gave in to her daughters demand for a different breakfast,  as they were walking out of the house they had to stop and help her son finish a procrastinated science project.  A friend came by to ask if she would watch her little girl while she went to the doctor when her sitter fell out.....and still everything was going ok, she was still going to make it to the airport until she remembered a dinner promised to a family that had just had a baby.  Crisis on chaos when she forgot to turn the oven on which put her another hour behind....when she finally delivered the dinner her cousin's plane took off and she didn't get to see her.  The scene of her coming back into her home dejectedly with a text that said "next time" was hard to watch.

I have been there....many, many times.  Is it bad time management?  The inability to say no?  Not thinking of a pizza delivery when that dinner wasn't ready?  The crone was apoplectic. Say no!  Have boundaries!!!  Get a pizza or a rotisserie chicken....but miss the cousin?  It was too much.

The message of the movie is service is good, and it's true, we never know how important we are to other people.  Our heroine saved the day for her daughter, her son, the woman who needed to go to the doctor and the family she brought dinner to.  And that message is valid....

So what ticked off the Crone so very much?

I have been (and I daresay the crone also) the recipient of service on service.  Dinners have come to my home when my parents died, when I had babies, when I had miscarriages, when I had a broken leg....I have had checks left on my porch when my children were serving missions, plates of cookies, bread, jam...candy, friends have come by to clean my house when I was ill, friends helped my children with dorm room supplies, taken them to lunch when they happened to be in the same town my children were in....slipped them some money....service?  It is amazing, and makes you feel loved, cared about and important.  My friends are family.

So what ticked off the Crone so very much?

The crone wanted that young mom to go to the airport to see her cousin.  She had given her entire day to other people...not one time that day did she ask for anything.  The crone was mad because it wasn't fair (and the young mom wasn't fast enough to think o

f take out pizza when the dinner failed)

I stopped the crone for awhile but then she got on Facebook where she found lots of women wondering the same thing she did.  They were mad.  I am a whole lot older than the young mom and I have been in this situation a million times.  So I could have warned her to watch the clock, do as much as you can, but when you run out of options...for heaven's sake, punt!!

I wanted to be in that kitchen with the uncooked casserole and the harried mom and tell her to not worry.....a pizza is fine.  In fact, sometimes it is way more appealing than a casserole.  I would have told her to take a deep breath and remember how much she had done that day and it was ok to change a plan, and still make it to the airport.  But I wouldn't have discounted the importance of service, or that sometimes it is inconvenient.....

The upshot of the movie was how important she had been that day to so many people.

And she never knew.

I have written many times that we rarely know how important we are to people.  I remember the mother of a child I taught tell me that I probably never think about them, but they pray for me every night.  It took my breath away.  Sometimes things are much bigger than we are.

There is an amazing scripture that says, "Ye have not applied your hearts to understanding, therefore, ye have not been wise.  Therefore, what teach ye this people?"

Simple, isn't it?  Be smart and be prayerful about what you can do and then follow your impressions.  Trust yourself.

Once again, the crone went too far......she usually does.

A Perfectly Brilliant Observation, If I say so myself....

Sometimes I come across something I cannot wait to share.  I was listening to a talk given by Dr. Ranata Forste to women about sustaining each other in righteous choices.  All I could think of was what a concept!!  Imagine this, I make a life decision and other women would view my choice and say...."brilliant!!", and I would react this way....."thank you, thank you very much."

Think about that....women supporting each other?  I find pockets of support among women in my life and I cherish it.  Women who don't care about my politics, my lifestyle, my religion...they just care that I am a friend.

Dr. Forste's ideas and observations were so good, so crystal clear I have to share...  

God (and please don't get hung up on the God thing, substitute whatever works for you) wants us all to return to him, but not necessarily in a straight line.  In other words being different is good, we are not the same and no one expects us to be all the same.

Selfishness will begin to destroy sharing which destroys unity.  Bring your talents, your gifts, your individuality so that we can be one.

Dr. Forste went on to recount a message she gleaned from commercials during an evening spent watching TV.....she found that...
Our skin isn't smooth enough
Our hair isn't shiny enough
and a message loud and clear is we are not thin enough 

Our floors aren't clean enough
our clothes aren't white enough and neither are our teeth
And our children aren't quite happy enough

The message is women need help.

Now contrast that to what men need according to an evening spent watching TV:

A big truck
lots of light beer
a big screen TV for watching sports
and a call to their doctor if they think their love life needs improving

Do you see a problem here?
The message men receive is, have a good time, Spend your hard earned money on leisure, fast cars, watching sports and drinking beer.

Advertising motivates women to buy out of guilt, or a need to achieve some socially constructed idea of perfection.  Men on the other hand are encouraged to buy things for pleasure.

Dr. Forste then read a rather famous Dave Barry column from 1998 

If you're a man, at some point a woman will ask you how she looks.
''How do I look?'' she'll ask.
You must be careful how you answer this question. The best technique is to form an honest yet sensitive opinion, then collapse on the floor with some kind of fatal seizure. Trust me, this is the easiest way out. Because you will never come up with the right answer.
The problem is that women generally do not think of their looks in the same way that men do. Most men form an opinion of how they look in seventh grade, and they stick to it for the rest of their lives. Some men form the opinion that they are irresistible stud muffins, and they do not change this opinion even when their faces sag and their noses bloat to the size of eggplants and their eyebrows grow together to form what appears to be a giant forehead-dwelling tropical caterpillar.
Most men, I believe, think of themselves as average-looking. Men will think this even if their faces cause heart failure in cattle at a range of 300 yards. Being average does not bother them; average is fine, for men. This is why men never ask anybody how they look. Their primary form of beauty care is to shave themselves, which is essentially the same form of beauty care that they give to their lawns.
If, at the end of his four-minute daily beauty regimen, a man has managed to wipe most of the shaving cream out of his hair and is not bleeding too badly, he feels that he has done all he can, so he stops thinking about his appearance and devotes his mind to more critical issues, such as the Super Bowl.
Women do not look at themselves this way. If I had to express, in three words, what I believe most women think about their appearance, those words would be: ''not good enough.'' No matter how attractive a woman may appear to be to others, when she looks at herself in the mirror, she thinks: woof.
She thinks that at any moment a municipal animal-control officer is going to throw a net over her and haul her off to the shelter.
Why do women have such low self-esteem? There are many complex psychological and societal reasons, by which I mean Barbie. Girls grow up playing with a doll proportioned such that, if it were a human, it would be seven feet tall and weigh 81 pounds, of which 53 pounds would be bosoms.
This is a difficult appearance standard to live up to, especially when you contrast it with the standard set for little boys by their dolls ... excuse me, by their action figures. Most of the action figures that my son played with when he was little were hideous-looking. For example, he was very fond of an action figure (part of the He-Man series) called ''Buzz-Off,'' who was part human, part flying insect. Buzz-Off was not a looker. But he was extremely self-confident. You could not imagine Buzz-Off saying to the other action figures: ``Do you think these wings make my hips look big?''
But women grow up thinking they need to look like Barbie, which for most women is impossible, although there is a multibillion-dollar beauty industry devoted to convincing women that they must try. I once saw an Oprah show wherein supermodel Cindy Crawford dispensed makeup tips to the studio audience. Cindy had all these middle-aged women applying beauty products to their faces; she stressed how important it was to apply them in a certain way, using the tips of their fingers. All the woman dutifully did this, even though it was obvious to any sane observer that, no matter how carefully they applied these products, they would never look remotely like Cindy Crawford, who is some kind of genetic mutation.
I'm not saying that men are superior. I'm just saying that you're not going to get a group of middle-aged men to sit in a room and apply cosmetics to themselves under the instruction of Brad Pitt, in hopes of looking more like him. Men would realize that this task was pointless and demeaning. They would find some way to bolster their self-esteem that did not require looking like Brad Pitt. They would say to Brad: ``Oh YEAH? Well what do you know about LAWN CARE, pretty boy?''
Of course, many women will argue that the reason they become obsessed with trying to look like Cindy Crawford is that men, being as shallow as a drop of spit, WANT women to look that way. To which I have two responses:
1. Hey, just because WE'RE idiots, that doesn't mean YOU have to be; and
2. Men don't even notice 97 percent of the beauty efforts you make anyway. Take fingernails. The average woman spends 5,000 hours per year worrying about her fingernails; I have never once, in more than 40 years of listening to men talk about women, heard a man say, ''She has a nice set of fingernails!'' Many men would not notice if a woman had upward of four hands.
Anyway, to get back to my original point: If you're a man, and a woman asks you how she looks, you're in big trouble. Obviously, you can't say she looks bad. But you also can't say that she looks great, because she'll think you're lying, because she has spent countless hours, with the help of the multibillion-dollar beauty industry, obsessing about the differences between herself and Cindy Crawford. Also, she suspects that you're not qualified to judge anybody's appearance. This is because you have shaving cream in your hair. (Dave Barry - Beauty and the Beast 1998)

Between Dr. Forste and Dave Barry I saw yet again that women (and of course, me) are simply too hard on themselves.  We have heard this message one million times, but we keep piling it on.  We keep wondering why we aren't thin, or wrinkle free....why aren't we sunning on the beach or walking the red carpet?  When will we understand that we are comparing ourselves to something that does not even exist.  I once had a very close friendship (we just played tennis) with a male celebrity who had an onscreen persona of a family man and really good guy.  Actually he was a lecherous degenerate who was routinely unfaithful to his wife.   I know that what we are sold and told is not real and yet I continue to fall for it.

Here is what I hear in my head, "Why aren't I perfect?  Why didn't I accomplish x,y and z today?"  My planner said I could, my list screamed at me - daring me to fail. And then laughing when I came up short.  Came up short?  Do you hear that?  

Why aren't I perfect?  Because I was never supposed to be perfect. 

Women are NOT supposed to be perfect.  Men have figured that out about themselves.  Perfection to them comes in the form of a wave, a steak or a cigar.

What if we could lighten up as women, if we could give each other a break, then maybe we could give ourselves a break.  
What if we could see, I mean really see that we are all different, with different qualities, gifts and talents....because some of us can sing, or write or cook.  But then some of us are not very good leaders, or we are as organized as a food fight....alone we are far from perfect, but together, together we can be perfect. 

I lean on my friends who can do things I cannot do.  I applaud their choices, but remember the mommy wars?  If you stayed home with your children it was because you couldn't do anything else, and if you worked you were selfish.....if you chose natural child birth you received a battlefield promotion, but if you gave formula to your baby then someone needed to call child protective services.  I hope we have put those things to rest, because none of it really mattered.  I nursed all of my children with an implied contract with nature that they would be perfect, but they aren't.  And my friends who worked had children who grew up to be perfectly fine people. And these same women are now enjoying pensions and retirement.  We all did the best we could with the tools we had, we didn't need to compare and compete.  It's true we are not perfect individually, but together we can be perfect.  

Which leads me to my next thought which is, all of us can fly if we will just get out of our own way.  I want to challenge you to do something you never thought you could do.  Stretch and reach and grow and become a person you never thought you could be.  Become the person God sees.....don't settle for your own vision.

What do you dream about?  That you could be a writer?  An actress?  An entrepreneur?  Do you want an orchard or a beehive?  Do you want to surf or be a motivational speaker? Maybe you want to teach yoga or math.....so,  set aside 1 hour a week to pursue your dream.  Then watch that dream grow, it might even morph into something better! 

Set aside 1 Hour a week to pursue your dream.  This is an invitation to change your life.

Let's do it!!

Mari's Book Signing!!!

Last night I had the honor of hosting a book signing for Mari Rose.  We met in Amy Ayoub's amazing speech class -www.thezenspeaker.com - and when Mari said her book was coming out the beginning of September I had to have a party!!  The friends, family and fellow alumni of Amy's class made for a very interesting and diverse group.  With few exceptions we hadn't met before last night, but the bond we experienced was undeniable. That bond gave us trust to explore feelings and thoughts, which helped us learn a great deal.

 The title of Mari's book is Change Your Layers, Change Your Life (for sale on Amazon)

I am forever fascinated about how people think, and Mari offers a challenge to reach inside of ourselves and face the obstacles that keep us from peace and happiness.  And then she suggests tools to help us get there!!

I am also fascinated by the fact so many of our beliefs are strikingly similar.  I believe so strongly in light, energy and intuition, and those were just some of the things Mari talked about.  I can add her thoughts to the beliefs I already have to bring new nuances to my thinking.  I had lots of things to ponder which always makes me happy!!

A question I have is, "Why do we dismiss anothers thoughts and beliefs, when we can so easily learn from them?" 

How foolish to lose out on an opportunity to learn and get to know people simply because their beliefs are different.  I listened to everything she said last night and incorporated a lot into what I already believe.  What I learned didn't diminish my testimony of Jesus Christ.  I found such joy in listening to her as she told of her journey, study and work.  She is a gentle soul, with a comforting voice that exuded peace.  The acceptance we felt for each other was reflected in the laughter and hugs throughout the entire night.  You cannot counterfeit the peace we experienced last night.

Washington take a lesson.....

I am a football fan, I come by it naturally being from Texas - my memories of Thanksgiving dinner were scheduled around the Texas - Texas A&M game.  (They always played on Thanksgiving day).  There was my grandmother's beautifully set table, crystal, linens, and of course her silver, and the pressure to make sure all the food came out at half time.  In Texas your team is chosen for you at birth, you are either a Longhorn, an Aggie, a Bear, a Mustang, a Cougar, or a Red Raider.  You are never a sooner or a razorback.....ever.   I have been a Longhorn my whole life.

When I had children I taught them about football the same way it had been taught to me.  I tried to teach them humility in winning and respect in losing, because that is what life is.  When you win you enjoy the heck out of it, but always remember someone on the other side has worked every bit as hard....lost.  And when you lose you give it up for the victors, go back to the drawing board and live another day.   Note to self, avoid social media on big game days, and maybe even church.  Some people think it is funny to mock an opponent, but I know that a football game is just like life, we are all one injury away from disaster....never mock.  And if you do, be prepared for attrition.

My husband played football in high school, so he was a fan...not quite as rabid as me ( although he is rabid about cooking ) One Saturday I realized we had different priorities when he was watching Julia Childs and I was watching my beloved Longhorns.  My son said when we were young granddaddy  gave me a football and dad got an easy bake oven.

My daughter went to USC just as Pete Carroll took over as head coach.  She worked in the football office and was involved in the equipment room and recruiting.  Once my high school son was struggling through the Crucible in English class and I overheard him ask Ashleigh, "Do you know the most boring play?" She responded immediately, "Right up the middle?"   Football....


And then there is what I like to call, "Order of YAC".  Initials for yards after catch.  It's not just catching the ball, and that's hard enough, it's what you do after the catch is made.  How far can you run? Are you satisfied with just catching the ball or are you prepared to run like you are on fire with that ball?

I love the concept of YAC it reminds me to magnify every opportunity I get.  You never know where even the smallest opportunities will lead or who you will meet.  Life is just that interesting.......

So...

What will you do after you catch the ball?

I am a football fan, I come by it naturally being from Texas - my memories of Thanksgiving dinner were scheduled around the Texas - Texas A&M game.  (They always played on Thanksgiving day).  There was my grandmother's beautifully set table, crystal, linens, and of course her silver, and the pressure to make sure all the food came out at half time.  In Texas your team is chosen for you at birth, you are either a Longhorn, an Aggie, a Bear, a Mustang, a Cougar, or a Red Raider.  You are never a sooner or a razorback.....ever.   I have been a Longhorn my whole life.

When I had children I taught them about football the same way it had been taught to me.  I tried to teach them humility in winning and respect in losing, because that is what life is.  When you win you enjoy the heck out of it, but always remember someone on the other side has worked every bit as hard....lost.  And when you lose you give it up for the victors, go back to the drawing board and live another day.   Note to self, avoid social media on big game days, and maybe even church.  Some people think it is funny to mock an opponent, but I know that a football game is just like life, we are all one injury away from disaster....never mock.  And if you do, be prepared for attrition.

My husband played football in high school, so he was a fan...not quite as rabid as me ( although he is rabid about cooking ) One Saturday I realized we had different priorities when he was watching Julia Childs and I was watching my beloved Longhorns.  My son said when we were young granddaddy  gave me a football and dad got an easy bake oven.

My daughter went to USC just as Pete Carroll took over as head coach.  She worked in the football office and was involved in the equipment room and recruiting.  Once my high school son was struggling through the Crucible in English class and I overheard him ask Ashleigh, "Do you know the most boring play?" She responded immediately, "Right up the middle?"   Football....


And then there is what I like to call, "Order of YAC".  Initials for yards after catch.  It's not just catching the ball, and that's hard enough, it's what you do after the catch is made.  How far can you run? Are you satisfied with just catching the ball or are you prepared to run like you are on fire with that ball?

I love the concept of YAC it reminds me to magnify every opportunity I get.  You never know where even the smallest opportunities will lead or who you will meet.  Life is just that interesting.......

So...

What will you do after you catch the ball?

Trade in the Beta Version for a 2.0!!

I admit it, I have had some trepidation about turning 60.




The thought has been like an unpleasant medical procedure.  Like those tests we have to have, say a colonoscopy.  We don't want to do it, but we do.  Then after all the details are accounted for you are required to sign a paper that no one is responsible if something goes horribly wrong.




(See Joan Rivers on this)




What?




No flies on the medical community but they are on to something.  What a great contract for life.  Sign here, no option for litigation because no one is responsible if something goes horribly wrong.




Life...what could go wrong? 


How about.....anything?




Our lives can turn on a dime.  Spend just a little time reading blogs and you will find folks who have their lives turned upside down and inside out.  Many of their blogs come from a place within that the writers didn't even know they had.  They start writing to make sense of it all, only to discover lots of other people rowing the same boat.   Through their writing they are looking for a way to make their lives better.  Libraries and book stores are filled with self help books, we are inundated with life coaches and daily affirmations. We are just trying to improve our beta versions.




Definition of: Beta Version




A pre-release of software that is given out to a large group of users to try under real conditions. Beta versions have gone through alpha testing inhouse and are generally fairly close in look, feel and function to the final product; however, design changes often occur as a result.

Beta testing is imperative when writing software because developers are too close to their products, and fresh eyes are essential. In addition, for Windows developers especially, it is impossible to duplicate the myriad configurations of PC hardware/software that exist, and beta versions test for potential conflicts as much as usability. In more closed environments such as the Mac and mobile phone platforms, beta testing is less about coexistence with other software and more about functionality and ease of use, the latter a long-standing joke in this industry 

Don't read the definition like a scientist would, read like it is your life.  

The most successful of us have started walking on a path, stopped, and then assessed the path.  Then they turn their findings over to fresh eyes who suggest changes.  The changes are implemented and a 2.0 model of themselves is created.  Failure is never considered, problems  are nothing more than a challenge to make their lives better. Once changes are  assessed a 2.0 version is made.

Definition of 2.0?  

After reading approximately 10 definitions of 2.0, I decided none worked.  So my definition goes like this,  "We used the Beta version to discover problems with the software.  We expected to find problems and we were helped by a community of people who used it and critiqued it.  Those problems were fixed and we came out with 2.0...."

Sheldon would shudder at my definition.

I just read an article on Jerry Jones written by Don Van Natta Jr. for ESPN the magazine.  It was brilliantly written and included one of Jones favorite life lessons.  It came from his football coach at the University of Arkansas, Frank Broyles.  He said Broyles always raised his four fingers on the football field as a reminder for his players to try to preserve their energy for the games most critical time--the fourth quarter.  

This is my fourth quarter.  No drama it just is.

From the time I turned 59 I wanted to make big changes in my life to cushion the shock of turning 60.  But life had other plans.  I tore the meniscus in my knee and found myself unable to walk for a few months and I am only now coming to what may or may not be a total recovery.  The universe tapped me on the shoulder reminding me I am not in charge.  

My beta version was all about control.  My 2.0 version will have that button removed and a dimmer switch installed for those times control becomes an issue.

My beta version included anxiety, a sense of humor, anger, regret, a sense of style, a green thumb, a tendency to focus on problems rather than solutions, no appetite control, honesty, loyalty, a good teacher and speaker, tendency to settle for good when great is is attainable.

Sound familiar?  I don't want to throw out all the aspects of my beta version, just improve them.  

I understand that a 2.0 version is only a second upgrade, when in fact I am closer to WD40 or Formula 409.  But not WD39 or Formula 408

I took artistic license, I can do that it's my birthday.