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Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Bill Cosby - The aftermath

So it seems my "little blog that could" caused quite a bit of commotion a few weeks ago.  I wrote the story, the very true story, of an experience with (here is the link) Bill Cosby.  To say I wasn't prepared for the reaction would be an understatement.  When I saw how many people were reading my blog I was sad....all I could think of was, "so this is how you get people to read your blog, report some kind of a train wreck."  I was hoping folks would read my blog for sage advice and pithy rejoinders.

First, my Facebook page blew up...it seemed every friend I had read it and every one of them commented.  Bless their hearts, everyone believed me.  That was a relief, even though I really didn't care if anyone believed me, it was still nice.  It was sobering when women started privately contacting me with their stories.  Some about Cosby, but not all.  Some who had an experience like mine they wanted to share.  We formed a sisterhood and it felt good to connect.  I knew how they felt and they appreciated what I like to call, "a safe place to fall".  It was a place of trust and acceptance.

Bill Cosby is hardly alone in using power as a tool to get what he wanted, assuming he could act any way he wanted because he was, after all, Bill Cosby.  I was fortunate that Wendy was with me, and blessed even more that she was extremely convincing and unshakeable.  A lot of the women who wrote to me didn't have that...

During the last few weeks we have read the Rolling Stone article about the rape at the University of Virginia fraternity which turned out to be fabrication.  As much as I hate men who use power incorrectly I despise women who do.  The reason the term, "crying rape" is the same as "crying wolf" is because of women like the one in the article and the one who wrote it.  The author found the same thing I did, folks respond to scandal and sensationalism.  In this case I don't know where the real story is, but credibility is lost. Bill Cosby's attorneys are going to point to that article as proof women "make these things up"  Rolling Stone and the author should have some serious consequences...they have impacted the lives of real rape victims everywhere.

My blog was picked up by (here) Norm Clark from the Las Vegas Review Journal.  I spoke with him because he is a well known columnist with a good reputation and came highly recommend by my friend Amy Ayoub.  The best part of our conversation was he admired my writing and he used my blog almost verbatim in his column.  Several television stations called wanting me to go on the air to discuss the story, also a couple of magazines. I was pretty clear when I told them, "I have said everything I need to say, there is nothing to add."  One was truly persistent, but after a while we agreed I was right.  When Norm's column came out I heard from even more women.  There were some funny stories of old time Vegas sugar daddies, and more sad stories.
Last week I received a letter in the mail from a woman who told me a Bill Cosby story she had only told her husband about.  It was very similar to mine....she was still embarrassed after all these years.

Amy told me not to read the comments in the newspaper.  Was she ever right...unfortunately my husband had to read them.  He came to me and said, "They aren't so bad, see? This one says you are only half butt ugly.   Really?  None of the trolls in the newspaper upset me, but one person left a comment on my blog that did.  It was from "anonymous" saying that it was the Salem Witch trials, and how could anyone believe me if I hadn't been vetted.

Vet away baby...I know what happened.

And a comment from someone I thought was my friend castigating me for writing about something Cosby probably doesn't even remember.  Really?  Who cares if he remembers?  I do.

So the blog about Bill Cosby had considerable more viewership than the blog I just wrote on Mustangs in Cold Creek, but given a choice I would much rather write about beautiful Mustangs than dirty dogs.

So Bill Cosby I am finished, your bad behavior is now erased from my memory.  No matter what happens from here I am finished. I hope the rest of the women receive closure also.


9 comments:

  1. What an inspiration you are to us all Donna! Thank you for your courage and strength to forge on despite those who are so eager to tear you down.

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    1. Not as much inspiring as perspiring...December kicks my butt, so when I read this blog today I was shocked at how much proofreading I missed! I rewrote and vowed to never write exhausted again.

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  2. Hope it all dies down now so people will just leave you alone. So strange to know Cosby is such a fraud. I had always believed his TV persona until all this came out.

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  3. You know the one thing I find more despicable than a man that would use his status to attack young, innocent women. It is the women who become nasty and combative when they should be supportive and kind. I am sorry that you had to experience "fame" in this way, I think it is really a shame. I don't get it, why can't women stick together and support each other without having to tear them down to make ourselves look and feel better about ourselves. It is disgusting to me. I hadn't really visited here but once or twice not because of a reason in particular but because as you well know you simply can't read everything. I have heard such wonderful things about you from my friend Carol Graham that I thought I would stop in today. I'm really glad I waited until the aftermath because like you I would much rather read about beautiful mustangs than snakes (Plus you have Stevie Nicks over there, one of my personal favorites). Anyway, hope you get that much needed break, and frankly I'm sorry people are assholes!

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    1. I love Carol Graham..so you have to be as wonderful as she is!! Thank you for reading..

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  4. Hi cute Donna. I hope you know many - probably most of us clicked on your FB link not because we wanted to see a train wreck but because as we listened to the stories unfold on the news, it was hard to believe. Many of us felt we know who Bill Cosby was. I went to his show for senior prom and again as a young mom. I'd been brought to tears when I saw he and his wife grieve over the death of their murdered son. I loved Cliff Huckstable and watched the Cosby show regularly, so grateful to have a positive role model on television. So when allegations were being made, I didn't know what to believe and probably didn't want to believe them. When I saw your post, I wanted to know what you knew. I didn't know these other women or their character but I knew you and yours. I knew if you said it, it was true. So thank you for posting - now I have to go back and read your mustang story.

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    1. It was very hard for me to believe it too. I felt such a betrayal of not just friendship but of who I thought he was. I think this is what everyone is experiencing. We all want to believe it was real. I appreciate your trust. I think my blog was more strident than should have been.

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  5. To me one of your last sentences says it all. "Bill Cosby, I am finished. Your bad behaviour is now erased from my memory." The stick has been taken away. He no longer has the power to hurt you. You are an inspiration to women everywhere. I do hope others find the closure you have found!

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