Fall at my house.....

I live in the desert, it is a hard place to make things beautiful....being from Texas I don't like not having flowers...so years ago we made a deal with our yard.....actually we made a deal with the University that they could use our front yard and we would basically do what they told us to do. We had put in a Wetlands.......the first residential constructed wetlands in Nevada....and so our yard was a great fit for wild experiments. They simply wanted us to not use pesticides, and not to augment the soil. We had to see what would really grow here. So they brought in experimental plants and we dug the holes, Sometimes having to jackhammer to make the holes big enough. This ground is hard and rocky.....a true challenge. My front porch.....looks like a home in Texas doesn't it? A gift from my husband....I am so happy he likes it as much as I do....
And so now the flower show starts.....all of these pictures are of the front yard. I just wanted you to see the colors, and the possibilities of drought tolerant plants.

I tried to delete this picture because the palm in the pot is so ugly and I haven't replaced it yet. But it was too hard.....so not everything looks great!




This is the most beautiful plant, the flowers look like wisteria, but of course, it isn't....it does freeze, but all four of mine came back, after a lot of time.....most everything starts greening up in April, this one and the bougainvilleas didn't really start going until June. It does pay to be patient.
Verbena is always a must
You can't see this very well, but this is an African Sumac that volunteered in this place, so my husband bent it way over and tied it down to train it to watch over the wetlands....
the Cannas are what we have in the wetlands right now, we took out all the cattails and the curly willow. Too invasive. I which we had hundreds of different kinds and colors of cannas, but maybe some time.
Another African Sumac, they volunteer everywhere because we mulch the entire front of our yard. In fact so much volunteers that I plant and replant all the time.

The original African Sumac....love the trunks on these treesSee the purple? It is called purple heart and I got it out of a woman's yard I had admired. She just handed it to me and now I have it all over. In the bottom of my pots, in the yard, in water, in the wetlands, everywhere.
This is my favorite bougainvillea, it grows up around the mailbox, the mail man hates it, but I don't have the heart to cut it. It comes back every year.
And here it is again....
I love it....
purple heart and creeping myrtle.....I got the creeping myrtle from a friend, and now it is also everywhere.
Russian sage (smells heavenly) and purple ruella growing inside of it. They were both volunteers.....
Next to the purple buddies is California fuchsia, which absolutely takes over......and the start of the pumpkin story...

Last year we went to Sacramento with the Holley's and we went o every farmers market there was. my husband got several gourds and pumpkins and harvested the seeds......here is what he did with them.......
They are everywhere
all across the front of the yard.....


Is this wild? It goes right across the steps in front of our house.....and there are so many pumpkins and gourds.....just crazy....I wanted to share the fall in the desert....our imagination and a shovel....

Just Sayin'

Is anyone as concerned as I am about the fact that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have a clothing collection at Kohl's? Isn't that awkward? What do divorce lawyers do about that?

Just wondering.

So I went to the Doctor this morning.....my appointment was at 7am. No problem I get up early, and besides I weigh less at 7am than any other time of the day. Don't laugh, you know you hate to get weighed too. Anyway, I check in at 7am.....the woman at the computer wasn't all the way checked in, but there I was, ready to get checked in and weighed...... right on time by the way.....please know there is not ANOTHER person in the waiting room. Obviously it hasn't gotten out that 7am is the finest time of the day to be weighed. Anyway, twenty minutes later the nurse came to get me from the waiting room where I was waiting....all alone.

I got weighed......it was awful.

Then off to the examining room, where I waited for another 40 minutes. I was deep into meditation at this point because I didn't want my blood pressure to go up.....deep meditation for 40 minutes. Total time waiting....60 minutes. Not to worry, I am kind of a zen patient. No problem....didn't even notice that I waited for 60 MINUTES when no one else was there. I left the doctors office with a fist full of orders for tests. A colonoscopy, a mamogram, a visit to a nutritionist, eat less salt, a flu shot and of course, take a multivitamin.

Couldn't love life more.

But here's the deal.....if I was way younger, which is what I used to be, I would leave it there. Kind of cranky about waiting so long. But you know what? I may have waited 60 MINUTES for the doctor when not another person in the world was there, but all I left with from the doctors office was normal stuff. And I am older now so I know that there is always a chance you can leave a doctor's office with really bad news.

And I didn't.

So even though I had to get weighed, and explain one more time that I DON'T have a family history. Not a family history of heart disease or diabetes or colon cancer ......I don't have a history.....period. So give me the freakin' test....give me every test you have. I will happily take the tests because right now I think all of those tests are going to come back just fine.....and I am grateful for that.

Speaking of being grateful....my little boy plays football for Southern Utah University (go T-Birds!) His team traveled to Las Vegas last Saturday to play UNLV.....and they kicked their butts! No one, and I mean no one, thought they would win. It was a beautiful thing.....the best part was after the game all the fans went over to where the buses were and just hung out for over an hour. UNLV's fans left during the middle of the third quarter so we had plenty of room. We just smiled at each other, a little goofy. The coaches were so happy. Not "I just won the lottery" happy, but "I studied so hard and made a 32 on my ACT" happy. It was the best win of their program, ever. The thing is these guys know they weren't the first choice of division 1 schools. There are lots of players from Las Vegas on SUU's team that UNLV didn't recruit. Not good enough. Looked right past them. That rejection stings.....which made victory all that much sweeter.

Sometimes being told you aren't good enough is just what you need.

So get out the butt-kickin' machine Taluleh, and get it done!!

AttackWatch.Com

I am not a political operative, although I would love to be. I would be fabulous at that.....but alas, I am not...so I am giving my opinion and advice to President Obama completely free! This is an even better deal than the entire country of the United States which right now, is 50% off. (Except for Las Vegas which is an even better deal)

The Obama campaign has put forth a website called AttackWatch.com in an effort to combat inaccurate information about the president.

As a dopey middle aged woman I can help you save some time and money....this will not work.

President Obama this is not how you convince people what your message is. You just lead and let people figure out who you are. If your message is clear people will catch on.

As a Mormon I have the same problem President Obama has. People believe all kinds of things about me that aren't true. And the only way I can convince people they are believing falsehoods is to be me.

I have been asked why I can't eat Chocolate on Sunday. My husband has been asked how many wives he has (the idea of more wives like me gives him great pause). Generally folks have asked me whole host of things that I have just stared at them over.

But honestly the only one that bothers me is when folks think I don't believe in Christ And if someone really wants to believe that, there is nothing I can do to change their mind. Except be who I am.

So President Obama defending yourself will never work. Save your time, breath and money....just be who you are and let people figure you out on their own.

We are all our best definition of who we are. I hope there is enough evidence to convict me of being who I claim to be.

Lydia's Day...

Please read the blog post from a very talented writer and doctor......it was quite remarkable.

Much love, happy Monday....

Donna

http://lydiakang.blogspot.com/

Our Lives Today.....

My parents were very young when Pearl Harbor was attacked by the Japanese, but my grandparents were very much aware of the enormity of what had occurred. Not one time when we discussed it (I loved to talk about these things....odd child that I was) not one time did they refer to it as a "tragedy". It was an act of war. Their lives were never be the same after that. My grandmother spoke of the shock of that attack, and how long it took her to simply understand something that evil could have happened. She spoke of "all those men who died". She was always sad when she talked about it. Of course she knew someone who knew someone whose brother had been killed, which made the whole event more real to her, more personal. And my grandmother never minced words about what had happened, it was senseless, it was evil, it was war. I thought about her this week as I watched another commemoration of 9/11. I thought about how she would have reacted to all of this. But then I knew what she would have said, it was senseless, it was evil, it was war.

Not a tragedy....war.

After the shock of 9/11 passed, I was heartened at the byproduct of this act of war. Our country came together, flags were everywhere....people went back to church....in droves. From an act of war had come what occurred after Pearl Harbor...unity. We were all Americans....all of us had been attacked....and we were all one. One nation under God, indivisible, standing for liberty and justice for all.

And that is what we acted like.



And then all of that went away....blame started. Recriminations, rancor, contention....whether you believe satan exists or not you have to agree all of his attributes have been on parade. We brought all the worst behavior people can have right out on the porch for all the world to see. People who claim to love America clearly were hating Americans (I stole that from a movie - thank you Aaron Sorkin). And today regular Americans are giving up. A school in Brookline Massachusetts wants to ban the pledge of allegiance.

What?

The ten commandments have been banned from the outside of federal buildings...that is funny to me. Ignore the ten commandments? Can you imagine what our lives would be like if people simply obeyed the ten commandments? Let your mind wander there for a minute. We could all go back to being farmers, musicians and artists because 99 per cent of the occupations in the world would be rendered obsolete.

The executive branch of the government is only slightly more popular than the legislative branch of the government. And we aren't very happy with the judicial branch either. What does that tell you? If you want something different then you are going to have to make that happen.

Last night the President said that government should partner with business to make things better. With all due respect Mr. President....no sir that is not how to make America prosperous again, the last thing I want to do is partner up with some of the ne'er-do-wells in Washington. All they know how to do is regulate and tax, point fingers and blame. No thank you.

I can't really decide what I am politically, so I am not throwing stones at any one individual, or group. (Except for anyone who talks over people, personal peeve...I hate it and I will give money to your opponent every time.) Both parties are guilty of hating Americans, and America is my homeboy. From the Urban dictionary a homeboy is a close friend. Originally used among transplanted African-Americans with Southern roots to refer to and aid in the assimilation of someone who might have directly migrated from a common Southern home town or is otherwise well known to the person using the term.

Wow....bet you hadn't heard that definition.

I keep wondering when America is going to come back....When we will finally have enough of this. Because right now we are just standing on the sidelines wringing our hands....we aren't acting, we are being acted upon, and sorry but that's crap.

I am looking for a leader....

I think we are all looking for William Wallace...and I am not going to stop until I find him, or her. When you vote next time ask yourself if the candidate loves America as much as William Wallace loved Scotland....as much as George Washington, Patrick Henry or Thomas Jefferson loved America. Ask yourself about eighteen year old boys who fight and die for the love of their country....who measures up?

And then go vote....

Find someone who loves America. And if you decide not to vote, don't ever sit next to me. I am not as nice as I used to be....another movie line theft.

As Todd Beamer from flight 93 said.......Let's Roll.

Coyote Beautiful

My two trusty dogs and I were out walking really early this morning. It has been so hot lately that I wanted to go while it was cooler. There aren't a lot of folks out that early so imagine our surprise when we see a coyote running down Egan Crest....

He stopped at the stop sign, looked both ways, and then turned right on Tropical. He was really moving fast, but well under the speed limit.

We are happy to report that the coyotes in our area are law abiding, upstanding citizens.

Let's Get Out The Butt-Kicking Machine

So wherever it is you live I hope things are better financially...because in Las Vegas the economy is really, really bad. Losing a house is no longer news.....staying in your house is what is noteworthy.

And since no ideas, or counsel, is coming from our leaders, I conclude none of them have an idea of what to do. One of our Senators is the majority leader, he never comes to Las Vegas...it would be nice to know what he is thinking. And I couldn't pick our other Senator out of a line-up if the rest were bass. He was appointed because John Ensign resigned in disgrace. We have three congressmen....none have addressed our situation in any significant way.

I just want one leader, one breathing, thinking leader to stand up and do something!! One person that is all I am asking for who can stand up and give us hope...but all I hear are crickets. We, who pay for our community to exist, are running out of money. And then what happens?

It is reported that unemployment here is 14%, I am sure that number should be doubled. There is no work and none coming. No construction, no jobs, no hope.

If Nevadans have work they are worried they will keep it, if they don't have work they have little hope of finding any. If you are near retirement, you were hit the hardest....IRA's are decimated, homes are worth pennies of what they were...and finding work is, well, not fruitful, and my health insurance costs have gone up $200 a month this last year....to a staggering $1250 a month for a family of four with good health. It is unsustainable.

Our homes are so underwater there is no recovery. Homes that were overpriced at $350,000 are now under priced at $95,000. Are people walking away from these homes? No, but they are running away from them. The whole country is 50% off, but Las Vegas is 80% off. It is hard to ask someone to stay in a home they paid $200,000 for when their neighbor is paying on a mortgage of $80,000. And the banks are happy to move a family out of home they can no longer afford, but then sell it to another for pennies....I don't get it.

I don't know why anyone stays. I have lived here for over 40 years, and things have been bad, then better, but we always had hope...and things got better.

So here is the obvious message from Nevada...we have given up. I don't see another communication. Our decline started in a real significant way when the president announced to the country not to go to Las Vegas. He was referring to corporations that he felt were over spending by scheduling conventions in Las Vegas...for him it was a throw away line......he was looking for a bit more austerity....Las Vegas felt the impact the next day. Room reservations were cancelled, conventions were cancelled and jobs started to vanish.....

And then it really got bad.

Don't get me wrong, in hindsight most of us would have made a lot of decisions differently. That is the way of the world, we try something it doesn't work, so we stop and try something different......but rarely is it such devastation. Starting over at thirty is much different than starting over at 60. In fact lesser people would not do it.

However, my family refuses to give up. We are going to start a business in the worst possible time. I am grateful we have an idea, I am grateful for talent we have. And maybe even a little grateful for not having a choice....desperation drives you to do things inertia might keep you from doing otherwise. And when I run into road blocks as I try and start this business, and I will, I will squeal louder than anyone should.

We have to realize we are dependent on each other. The trickle down theory is not for the wealthy only....when one person gets financially afraid, they stop going to the dry cleaners, and the dog groomer....they don't order a pizza, or send flowers...and the economy stops. So if you can afford it, and you need it, get a new oven, go out to eat, get your nasty feet done! In other words, spend your money if you can.

I am not apologetic for writing this today. I am the voice of so many who have no idea where to turn. And really tired of being ignored. If you disagree with anything I have said, tell me. I hope I am stirring up hornets...because until the right people get stung nothing is going to change.

I am looking for a butt-kicking machine.

And to think the French Revolution started because of dessert......

We are all made of "Better Stuff"

I am getting close to a real life changer, and I am happily, strangely calm. It's not like I am about to walk on the moon, or have a kidney transplant, I am just getting ready to close a chapter of my life and step into another.

First I would like to say that I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father that I was able to follow my heart for the last thirty years and stay at home with my children. It wasn't always easy and I know there was a lot of sacrifice from my husband to provide that blessing and to honor my choice. I am so grateful to have been able to follow my heart and I acknowledge the help I have been given.

I know where that blessing came from.

And now I open the door to new possibilities and new adventures. As I look back on the last thirty years I am grateful not only for being able to be with my children but so grateful for the people who have accompanied me on that journey. Women who stood shoulder to shoulder with me through breastfeeding and diapers, kindergarten and PTA.....helping me with my marriage, sharing their own trials and making me a better woman, mother and wife.

Those amazing people who cheered with me and cried with me......some that I have only met through letters and emails.....but who are just as important to me as those I see all the time. I am grateful to my Uncle who stoically, and unemotionally reminded me that I was made of better stuff the night before I was to give the eulogy for my mother. I walked to the podium the next morning knowing I could do hard things.....because I was made of better stuff. Words that course through my soul often. I will never forget those who came to the hospital when I had babies, when my children were in danger and when my parents were going through the end of their lives....I will never forget their faces as they came to my home for dinners, firesides, lunches and even a few funerals! Oh the incredible people who have left their imprint on my life forever. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I have changed so much over the last thirty years. Thank goodness right? But the biggest change in my life is realizing what I can do, what I can accomplish...the lives I can touch....what kindness can reap...and what unkindness can return. Oh how important that is....and that can only come with experience, and lessons learned and relearned.

I am grateful to all of those people along this journey who have taken the time to love me, teach me, laugh with me and cry with me. And mostly who have forgiven me for my shortcomings. Forgiveness is the greatest gift we can give each other.

And so while it is sad to move on and say goodbye to every day mothering, I do it with great hope that the next part of my life will be as fulfilling as the last has been. My pattern has been to never give up and to pray as hard as I can to know what the Lord wants me to do. And then when I discern what He wants then to do all I can to follow that direction. What I am leaving behind is carefully locked in my heart as the best memories a person can have.

I have made a great many mistakes, I have not been the perfect mother or wife...I never thought I could be and sometimes I didn't want to be!! But my heart has always been with my family, I will always consider myself a wife and mother first because that is the desire of my heart. Now that role changes and I know I will handle that just like I have handled all the other changes in my life. I am confident in the abilities God has given me. And one ability He gives us is to survive and never give up......I will always try to encourage everyone around me to never give up.....that is the greatest lesson my earthly parents taught me.....it is what I see in my husband. I hope I have instilled it in my children.

Just as I have been helped.......I will return those blessings. I hope to mirror the kindness and love shown to me all these years.

So to all the people who have supported me along this journey.....I am a better person because of you. For all of you have been there when I needed it most and I am better for it. I learned from you what to do when tragedy occurs.....how to love, how to react to pain, how to celebrate and simply how to walk this life with honesty.

I consider myself blessed beyond all measure because of you. As they beautifully say in Texas, "I love all y'all!"

And to my husband a special thank you and my eternal love....he knows me best and still loves me. To my children, you will never know how grateful I am to you for letting me be your mom. You have given me such joy. I love you.

And never stop believing.....

When Stevie Nicks calls.....

Will you be ready with fresh and friendly banter when Stevie Nicks calls? If you are afraid of not having anything interesting to talk about I have a few suggestions...we can fill the gaps in your life with some from ours.

The other day my son and I were delivering food and I felt the need to PANIC, loudly, because we were late. Trey is great at football analogies and he calmly stated that by panicking I was not showing my best game face. He reminded me about Joe Montana and the 1989 Super Bowl against the Cincinnati Bengals. The San Francisco 49ers were down by three points with 3:20 left when Montana spotted -- no, not an open receiver -- but a personality. "Isn't that John Candy?" And then he led the 49ers 92 yards, throwing for the winning touchdown with 34 seconds left.

Calm under pressure....if I was the quarterback with 34 seconds left..I might be throwing up in the huddle....just saying. But isn't that kind of confidence inspiring?



I want that kind of confidence.....but I digress......
This next part is hard....Two weeks from today my youngest child goes off to college. On every level that is hard. And since life is just a little bit harder for me than everyone else then here goes.... I may not survive. We went "dorm shopping" the other day....I was the picture of decorum, I only cried one time...



They are oh so excited to be on their own and that triggered such interesting conversations...How does the wash work? How many blankets do I need? Can I leave my shampoo in the bathroom? She has been in charge since she was 2....no one has more confidence. I know she will be fine...I however have to face the fact that this one part of my life has changed....forever.

The good news? I can use my "7 ways to use a chicken breast" on someone who may listen.

After she leaves there will be time to adjust....but for now, she still needs me a little....

So cute!

I will be fine, but isn't it interesting that it is a lot easier to adjust to starting a family than it is to adjust to having them leave....just saying.

Now on to more fun times to tell Stevie when she calls...

Ashleigh was celebrating a birthday and wanted to go to the Wynn for their brunch buffet. Sounds civilized doesn't it? Brunch? In Las Vegas a buffet means only one thing, strap on your big eating pants and go for a ride. Because, my friend, you will have to wait for a fork lift to take you back to the car.

In the mean time we all looked fabulous....especially the birthday girl.

But first we had to find it......

Convenient that the Ferrari dealership is right outside.

Unfortunately, this is all we could afford, peaking in the window. It costs ten dollars to go in..... Just to look!

These shops are amazing.....

The shoes are a work of art.

You have to at least look, right?

A dear friend of ours is in charge of all the plants and flowers at the Wynn.

He and his staff do an incredible job.

I thought this sign was hysterical. My dad was in the gaming business his whole life, and slot machines used to be something for the wives to do while they waited for their husbands. Nickel slots and then, gasp, a quarter. Now you can sit down and play a hundred dollars at a time. Can you imagine? No skill, just sit down and put a hundred dollars in a machine, hit a button and wait for chance to occur.

Seriously?

At least blackjack and Craps have some skill.....even with that, it's still a strange thing to do.

It's odd that money has so little value when folks are convinced they can get something for nothing.

By the way, you can't get something for nothing.

Don't you love eating in a place that is so festive? Even though we waited in line the same amount of time we would have if we were at Disneyland. But instead of Indiana Jones at the end, we enjoyed all you could eat shrimp....amazing!

Great time, great family....no belts.....Vegas buffets, eating for sport.

And then after brunch, all a girl needs on her birthday is a small bag from Tiffany's.

Ashleigh is absolutely amazing, I count myself blessed every day to be her mom.

Happy Birthday!!

Why Would You Give Up A Perfectly Good Bad Habit?

Why would you give up a perfectly good bad habit? That is the question I am asking myself right now.

The bad habit I am giving up is diet coke. Now before you start defending diet coke.....don't worry, I think it is a wonderful thing. No need to tell me how much fun a diet coke and some chips are...but I went beyond the pale. I drank so much, that I was feeling like I needed to quit. I'm not sure if it is diet coke that is contributing to how I feel, but maybe, so I thought I would.....wait for it.....quit. Yikes...

You see I feel squishy....and I know there is a ton of sodium in that sweet little drink. I really don't drink enough water...so I feel squishy. And I want to feel less squishy. I also don't want to have to have diet coke on hand. It's simple, I am addicted to caffeine. Caffeine is not the enemy, it actually helps with headaches, and other things....I just drink too much. I went from a nice balance to, "Gotta have it!!"

This latest journey actually started with Green Smoothies. My dear friend Patrice started drinking them quite a while ago. She is the healthiest eater I know....but she isn't weird about it....she loves all food, and eats it with real passion. She just eats well...lean meat, lots of veggies, fruits and nuts. So I started drinking them too...I knew I wasn't getting enough vegetables so this is a great way to get some real food in your body. They are easy to make, stuff spinach (and I mean stuff) in a blender, add water, juice or crystal light and then blend it up....Add some frozen fruit, personally I love any kind of berry. Strawberries, blueberries, blackberries...you get it...berries. Blend, blend, blend.....at the end add a banana. Done..... You can tweak this any way you want to. Add frozen peaches, add fresh fruit, add kale, collard greens (not too many, they are strong, but mighty). The rule is, there isn't a rule. You can't do this wrong. I have been drinking them for a few months and I noticed my nails were growing. I have notoriously weak nails, and because of that I bite them....and then I get hang nails...yikes. So this was a big change. I am doing nothing else differently...so it must be the green smoothies. I made the leap that if my nails were absorbing more vitamins, then so are my bones. That caught my attention. I don't want a hump. I have heard, maybe it's true maybe not, that soda leaches calcium from your bones...I don't know where I heard that....maybe it's totally made up...but if it is true, I will regret not drinking less later on in life....when I have a hump.

The evidence I have with Green Smoothies is now more empirical than anecdotal. My problem nails are better.

I will let you know about the diet coke thing. Right now I am on a methadone treatment.... Excedrin every 4 hours. I know it has caffeine in it...but I will eventually wean down. I am not worried about too much aspirin right now.....one thing at a time.

And from my experience with green smoothies I will give this diet coke thing about 3 months before I judge if it is effective or not. I have lots of other things to change in my life. Things that just bug me about myself. I end up feeling weak and unable to change. And I know that isn't true...I can change.

I just did....one change gives you some power to change something else. Seriously who has ever just painted a room? After that you need some new carpet, maybe some new window treatments? Change empowers change...

I knew I was drinking too much soda...I have been drinking diet soda my whole life. Remember Tab? I drank that, then diet Dr. Pepper.....then Diet Coke....Don't get me wrong, there isn't anything wrong with soda....but when a truck backs up at your house to unload, then you may have gone too far. Wish me luck!!

Wisdom for the day.......We find out at the end of our lives how important the decisions are we made at the beginning of our lives.

I really don't want a hump...

What Do You Think?

Imagine my surprise when I looked all over for the dog, only to find him standing in a pot we filled with water for the birds and rabbits. He stayed in there long enough for me to find my camera and take a picture. Then I discovered I hadn't put a card in the camera.. So I run to find the picture card, put it in the camera, go back to where Hudson is and take his picture. That's how hot it is....he stayed in there....posing...until I got the whole thing together.

Just some thoughts...

DMVs are the same all over. I went with my son to the DMV in Utah, (hooray in-state tuition!). He told me he had been there 3 times trying to get a drivers license. Each time he went home dejected and brokenhearted because he needed yet one more piece of paper proving he was who he was. But this time we were so hopeful...he had a birth certificate, passport, social security card, paycheck stub, and a letter addressed to him at the address he claims is his.. We went in and sat down.......we were the only ones in the whole DMV, I am not kidding, the only ones. There were three women working, none of them doing much.......so imagine our surprise when over a loud speaker we hear,

"serving number 300 at window number 2"

Number 300? At window number 2? This is how badly we wanted that drivers license, we did not laugh, we did not make fun....and we were nearly injured attempting to hold in our sarcasm.

The woman behind window number 2 sat up straight and looked right at us...my son looked at me like we were in a Fellini movie. I told him to go break a leg....he didn't have his old license because it was stolen along with his wallet....the woman working behind window number 2 had to conference with the other DMV employees as to whether or not he should get a new license without a thorough investigation. For some reason, they went ahead and gave him the driver's license. Score!! Painful process but all done.

Why is barbeque sauce different all over the country, but bureaucracy is exactly the same no matter where you go?

Speaking of bureaucracy, I am officially tired of the Washington debate, which is what they call the mess they have made. I used to like all the trees and museums...now it is just a city filled with people doing everything they can to stay there, at my expense, just doing stuff to help them. Sorry....really tired. And btw to the note taker at my local Senators office who was so rude to me over the phone...that was a mistake.

Football lock out? Stop it guys.....Now. I read the other day that 79 per cent of America watches football...that means 180 million people want the lock out to end. Who seriously wants to tick off 180 million people? I get nervous when a magazine tells me I only have 4 issues left.....I don't like to make anyone angry. So pretend everything isn't about money and fix it.

Note to self, the low fuel light is not a suggestion. The computer in the car isn't trying for a spot at a comedy club...you will run out of gas, near your home, at a busy intersection, during lunch time, where everyone you know will drive by.....oh, wait that happened.

Thanks Lori for saving the day.

I have discovered something about green smoothies, after months of drinking those lucious, amazing drinks, my nails grew. Seriously, they grew. Which means my bones must be better, and that lessens the chance of a hump. Really good news. You really cannot taste the spinach...note, don't tell your kids there is spinach in the smoothie...it can be a deal breaker.

Wisdom for the week? Be nice to someone who isn't nice to you.....It looks good and it's the worst thing you can do to a mean person.

Discuss.....

Time For A Change

This morning I was reading about a young man from Idaho who was in a terrible car accident.

He was the only survivor, that is sobering enough, but add to that his injuries are very extensive, many broken bones and brain trauma. His recovery will be long and arduous. I didn't know where to focus my thoughts, on the three young women who died in the accident? What their families were going through? Or on the young man and the difficult road back he will have. One accident, in one minute life goes from happy teenagers driving home from a church function, to unbelievable sadness, and a life change no one saw coming.

It is easy to forget that about life, that it can change so quickly. Just one phone call can alter your life forever. I have never appreciated it when people say, "It could be worse." I don't like that philosophy because whatever trial you are experiencing is valuable, and should not be discounted. We minimize the experience when we say that. It is not easy to embrace the trial, but most healthy minded people eventually do. We are hard wired to survive, so we find ways to not just make the best of the situation, but to make it our finest hour. That is why my motto is,

"There is no education in the second kick of a mule."

It is a great old fashioned, Texas way of thinking. I appreciate the hard times my family has survived....but I am embarrassed to admit I have not embraced my trials as I could have. I have whined, pouted and complained....when I should have been grateful for the amazing blessings I do have. So when I read about the young man from Idaho, or the people who died in Joplin Missouri from the tornado, or friends I know who are going through difficult times, I know it is time. It is time to change, to find a way to avoid being miserable, a course correction of sorts. John Longden wrote years ago about time. He said,

"I refuse to waste my valuable time. Today has one thing in which I know I am equal with others, Time...all of us draw the same salary in seconds, minutes, hours, 24 golden hours each day. Today I will not waste my time because the minutes I wasted yesterday are as dead as a vanished thought. Today I refuse to spend time worrying about what might happen. I am going to spend my time making things happen."

Isn't he so right about worrying about what might happen, and isn't it so inspiring to believe you can make things happen? Earth life is tricky, it is filled with all kinds of road blocks, problems and obstacles. And it could be tempting to think the odds are too great and simply give up. When we hear the news, it is all bad. The economy has kicked our collective butts, and everyone has been affected. Instead of retreating and being hopeless, it is time to pick up the gauntlet. It is time to start a business if you can't be hired. It is time to lend your resources to others when you can. In essence it is time to realize how powerful we are, together, and how much of a difference we can make, together....To simple believe and be hopeful.

President Dieter Uchtdorf said, "Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness".

I believe that. I know that when one person refuses to see a half empty cup they inspire the next person, and the next and the next. That is what hope is.

Can't this be our finest hour?

I come from a long line of survivors......I just forgot that for a while.

32 years ago today....how about that? And they said it would never last....take a lesson - never underestimate the power of pure stubbornness.

And fear.....

My husband and I met during a very non religious time for both of us. We had to look high and low for a church to get married in. My family was not religious at all, and it didn't matter where we were married, but my soon-to-be husband's family was very Catholic, and very interested in a Catholic wedding. So we found a Catholic Church that would marry us. The Priests we found at St. Francis were fabulous about the whole thing, all they said was you have to come to counseling before we will agree to marry you. OK, fair enough, we can do that, 12 weeks you say? OK, we can do that....(yikes!) so we show up for our first session and the Priest takes one look at us and says, "You know if you get married in the Catholic Church you must raise your children Catholic."

We hadn't even talked about children much less how they were going to be raised. We were more of a "in the moment" kind of a couple. It just shows how prepared we were. Not at all. When Brother John was about to marry us, I whispered in his ear please don't say, "Until death do you part." I always believed that marriage was forever. He was good with that and off to the races we went.

My very Catholic, very Italian new mother-in-law met me in the foyer after the wedding and looked me straight in the eye and said, "there are no divorces in this family." Because I had been married for 3 minutes and we hadn't had a single fight yet....I assured her that sounded good to me too. I have always loved my mother and father-in-law, they are the best. And even though my mother-in-law passed away far too soon, her influence in our family is real.

Our wedding day, June 29th, 1979 was 117 degrees in Las Vegas...total torture for even the most ardent desert dweller. Want to know what it did to my new husband's family from New Jersey? I think one of his cousins actually melted. There weren't a lot of return visits from his family....especially in June.

I am not going to say that because my mother-in-law told me there were no divorces in the family that that is the reason we have stayed together......but the fact is marriage is very important to them. And they taught that to my husband. Example is a powerful thing. I worry sometimes that I am a terrible example to my children. We aren't the husband and wife team who never fight or at best hide all the fights....we get irritated regularly...and hide nothing. But we make up and then wake up to another day. Passion runs high for both of us. When folks tell me they never fight I don't know how to react to that. Does that mean we are simply dysfunctional, or could they just be big donkey liars?

We take that "for better or worse" out for a spin almost every day.

Marriage isn't easy, and staying married isn't easy either. But it is the best thing I have done. It is wonderful to have someone to share memories and a few dreams with. It is good to have someone to hug any time I want to. But mostly it is good to be with someone who remembers that once upon a time I had a waistline. Dang menopause.....while I am at it, dang pizza, french bread and pie.

I have made two decisions in my life without ever looking back...neither decision gave me a moments regret or even so much as a second thought. It was just right. One was becoming a member of the Mormon church and the other was marrying my husband. Both decisions were as incongruent as could be for a girl like me. I was a Southern girl marrying an Italian boy from New Jersey, and yes my family considered him a Yankee. He liked salami, provolone and something called calamari. I was Mormon and liked everything fried......he came from a large family, I was an only child. He thought crystal stemware must be cheap because it broke so easily in the dishwasher (6 at one time....30 years ago and I'm still not over it) I hated the cold and chestnuts are nasty. One time he actually wanted to put them in my stuffing.....ha!

We have had some obstacles to overcome.....but we came to simply accept what we couldn't change...in fact we are still doing that, still overcoming obstacles. But I root for the Yankees with wild abandon and he's Mormon....life is funny that way. Especially the part about rooting for the Yankees.

I have never one time in the whole time we have been married ever doubted him. And that is my greatest blessing.

Thank you darlin', I love you!!

Just pure tenacity

I hate migraine headaches. When I get one I feel like I am in slow motion and something is sucking my brain out of my ear. And it won't stop....

But what I love about migraine headaches is someone, somewhere, in a far away lab invented a medicine that chases these deadly brain sucking headaches away. On the down side the headache is replaced with kind of a bombala fatigue that makes doing anything short of laying on the sofa impossible. However when compared with searing, brain sucking pain, a little fatigue is just fine.

But sometimes things don't go according to plan. In other words when I went to the medicine drawer where I keep Advil for constant muscle pain, Excedrin for the times I can't find diet coke and a few other things that the Hipaa privacy rule prevents me from revealing.....there was no migraine medicine.....oh the agony!

Last night I was teaching an institute class so I had to wait until that was over to drive like I was on fire to our favorite Walgreen's pharmacy. I pounce on the pharmacist at exactly 8:50...time to spare....and then I see the blood drain from her face. She knows she has to tell me that my prescription has no refills and she knows I am going to freak out.

Shut up!! How will I sleep? Better yet how will my husband sleep?

Fast forward to 8am this morning. The race has begun. I am a proud member of Health Plan of Nevada (which basically means you can only get sick in Nevada - sorry about Mikey's almost broken leg in Cedar - and it also means you pay and pay to get less and less)....on the other end of my first phone call is someone who has the power to refill my prescription. I will myself to be nice, patient and did I say nice? Could I actually pull that off? But at 8am?

For the next 40 minutes I speak with one person after another...finally at the end of the phone call (and of course one time we were disconnected - start over contestants!) I am told they will send a message to my doctor who may or may not call the pharmacist. It might be Monday, sorry.
But it is Friday I tell them frantically! (will hysteria work?) I am helping my husband cook for 300 tomorrow, I can't have a migraine. They are sorry...and then the ridiculous memorized end of the call..."is there anything else we can help you with?" I had to ask her.... "so far, what have you helped me with?"

Oops, not nice.

Suggesting to a group of people who have that much power to give you something you truly need that they indeed share a brain, is not helpful. I see any hope of getting my medicine fading quickly away.

At 11am I decide to wait no longer and simply go to the doctor's office. I can explain to them that I am in great pain and maybe they will just hand me the prescription. Off I go. On arrival I see that there is a line...what luck! When it is my turn I explain everything to the receptionist. She is quite nice and she takes my pathetic story to the nurse who may or may not go to the doctor with my request.

There is a clear chain of command.

At this point, I make up my mind to see this through. I am NOT going home without the medicine. It has become a matter of honor, or something. I imagine a group of people symbolically standing behind me, hundreds of people rejected under the same circumstances. Beaten and dejected leaving without their meds. I am doing it for all of them.

The nurse comes out after about 20 minutes, quite annoyed, to tell me that they have 2 or 3 days to fulfill these requests. I looked at her straight in the face and said, "not if you have a migraine." She told me it would take "some time" to get the doctor to write the prescription. I can wait I tell her...So I sit down for a long wait and start texting everyone I know...I saw the picture of Erin's new baby, organized a meeting, and generally caught up on life. Nothing wasted!

The nurse came out to tell me my request was called in, give it 20 minutes she says..hooray! Score! I can feel the pain lessen. Off I go to the pharmacist at Walgreen's after about 30 minutes, (I had to get some diet coke) only to be told my prescription was expired and the doctor was not responding.

What?

This is the message from last night, they don't have the new information, I am screwed, this is awful....oh the humanity!! This wild chase for geese has ended with nothing, not even geese.
And then it occurs to me...the doctor called the wrong pharmacy! That has to be it! I go back and stand in line, stand in line, stand in line....the same poor pharmacist looks at me with such pity, (or disdain?) I explain to her that they must have called the Target pharmacy..."please (I am almost begging) call them and see if my medicine is there."

No.

No? They didn't have the number (yes they do) the time (you are in business to have time) or inclination....(I am using sheer force of will for them to be inclined)
I explain I have come too far and I am in far too much pain to stop.

She blinked and then she called Target.

Score! They tell me to sit down, the prescription is indeed at Target, it is being transferred over. Give us a minute.

Finally at 1:22 I leave Walgreen's with 9 imitrex (actually their generic brothers) pills. I got into my car and took one of those pills right there in the parking lot with almost scalding water that had been in my car for who knows how long.

And I smiled.

I did it.

Rack up another metaphor of life....

Graduation

I love graduations...I love the hats, diplomas, and most of all I love a good commencement speech. Add to that hundreds of happy graduates, grateful parents,tired but fulfilled teachers and you have the recipe for total happiness.



That is what I felt yesterday, total happiness. My youngest child, my Emma, graduated from high school. She gave a wonderful, inspiring speech....her voice never faltered. There is a reason she graduated on the day of the year with the most light...the longest day, the first day of summer...that is her metaphor, she is light and warmth, and never gives up. Then at the end of the ceremony she led the student body in moving their tassels from the right to the left.

....and just like that they were high school graduates.

My feelings were so intense, and so profound...I found it hard to breathe at times. When we first got to graduation, I had this overwhelming feeling of, "Well, it's here, and there is nothing you can do to stop it" I knew there was no way to get back the days of her childhood. My little girl grew up, and I started to cry. Her life is changing for sure but an enormous part of my life is changing as well. The days of small children are past. They were great days, and I will miss them. And just like all moms suddenly faced with their children growing up...it hurts. As hard as it was, I loved it. I loved kneeling at the side of their beds, I loved the games, the gym meets, the recitals, I loved helping at their schools, I just loved being with them.

Over the years I brought crates of oranges to games, bought pounds of cookie dough and enough candles to light St. Patrick's Cathedral. I know I spent more time in my car than in my house.

We survived lost elections, lost tryouts, lost shoes, and lost games....we jubilantly brought home trophy's and ribbons, good report cards, and enough slurpees to change the economy.




It is a job I enjoyed so much...but it is a job that changes. it is hard to watch so much of the really sweet stuff just vanish...

Like the first time they don't need you to tie their shoes, or hold their hand. Or when they get their license and drive solo the first time.

Those are all good things of course, but that feeling, that feeling of obsolescence looms. You know the meaning of planned obsolescence right?

Planned obsolescence or built-in obsolescence in industrial design is a policy of deliberately planning or designing a product with a limited useful life, so it will become obsolete or nonfunctional after a certain period of time.

And that is a bit how I feel today....obsolete, I am a product designed for a limited useful life.

Dramatic? yikes!!

That isn't completely true, they still refer to me as 'mother' and they still love me...but the day to day stuff? As they tell me, "I got this, mom." And I am happy that they can fly on their own. That is a good thing.

However, that is a concept I am not doing well with today.


The truth is, I will miss kneeling at the side of their bed having prayer. I will miss watching them dance, play football, soccer, basketball, baseball, cheer, and do gymnastics. I will miss walking in the front door and seeing 25 pairs of shoes knowing that meant there were 25 teenagers in my den...I already miss their friends....I will miss making pasta for 10 then 20 and then maybe 30 teenagers.

I am blessed to have had the experience, but I will miss it to be sure...

My little girl Ashleigh was the dish who ran away with the spoon...my little Trey dressed up as every character he saw on television or the movies and wore a suit to pre-school, my little Mikey who refused to go to first grade because he thought he was never coming home again, and 6 year old Emma.......standing with the coaches on the football field, her baseball cap on backwards with a whistle and a clipboard.

Those memories along with about a million more are mine....and I am so grateful for them.

But today I am a little sad...

Murder, Moms and The Book of Mormon Musical...

I am so tired of hearing about the mother in Florida who may or may not have murdered her daughter. I try to avoid it, but because I am interested in the weather, politics and world events I still listen to the news. But it seems this is the way the news works....the temperature in New York according to the Casey Anthony trial is......we can report from the Casey Anthony trial that the Prime minister of Italy is having his problems these days. The stock market brought to you by the Casey Anthony trial, the Republican debates....a break through in medicine....incredible rescues....things so important seem to pale in comparison to a story I don't want to believe even occurred.

I kept all this to myself until I read a blog this morning called Kazzy's Pondering's. In her blog she wrote about how she ran outside, as though she was on fire, to take pictures of hot air balloons as they floated by. And all because she wanted to send the pictures to her missionary in Mexico...because it was a reminder of home. And she wanted him to feel some love from home.

That's the mom I want you to think about. The mom who loves with a fierceness that a tiger would step aside for.

I admit that some of that fierceness came out the other night as I was watching the Tony's...I usually watch the Tony's, but this year I watched with a bit of trepidation. I knew the musical, "The Book of Mormon" was going to win a lot. Out of curiosity I had listened to some of the score on NPR. Some of the songs were so profane I simply clicked it off. But some of the songs were filled with so much mockery and disdain about Mormon missionaries that I found myself feeling that fierceness only reserved for tigers.

Through my blog I have met people from India to North Carolina, from Utah to Mexico, and beyond. My new friends are divergent and because of our differences, so interesting. I have no desire to converse with people who only think as I do. I love finding out how my Hindu friends are coping with life, and my friends in New England, and Indonesia, and Texas, and North Carolina....I have not spoken about my religion much because I live by the adage, "Preach the Gospel every day, and if you have to use words." I think we are our best example...walk the walk of whatever you believe in, that is the best way to show others who you really are.

But since this blog is all about words....I have a few words, a few carefully chosen words, to say about the Book of Mormon musical. However understand that anything I say pales in comparison next to the official statement from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints....

"The production may attempt to entertain audiences for an evening, but the Book of Mormon as a volume of scripture will change people's lives forever by bringing them closer to Christ."

Succinct and to the point...no contention, a completely guileless reaction to a play that sets out to mock a religion, a culture and a people.

These are my thoughts and I take full responsibility for them.

Every play that is nominated presents a song or a part of a scene for the television audience to get a flavor of their whole production. The song the Book of Mormon musical chose to perform was about faith...this Missionary from Salt Lake City was seeing horrible things, but he stilled believed. Because that is what Mormons do..they believe. I am sure I am taking this benign view out of context, but I won't take issue with that. I do believe. And even though the audience snickered when this naive young man believed no matter what I thought, it's true.....I do believe.

This play was not just about Mormons, it was about all people who believe. Don't miss that point.



I want you to see what real Mormon missionaries look like....and they have moms like me.



They also look like this...




This is my beautiful daughter in the middle...a real missionary who believes...

A dear friend of mine came over right before my son was leaving for Costa Rica for two years...he looked at me and just shook his head. He supported what we were doing, but didn't understand it. He said to me, "I understand when parents send away their kids when they are difficult, I don't understand sending away the good ones."

My husband and I did indeed send away some good ones...but they came back better ones. They lived with a different culture for two years. They understand a language and a people completely. They found out what they could do when they only had the Lord to depend on.
This experience has been priceless. My sons were 19 years old..they left college, a job, friends and their family to serve others...all because they believed. And so did my daughter.

I hope some people will be curious after they see the play. I hope they ask questions...we may not be as catchy and flashy as the play...but we'll do.

And if you see a missionary this summer give them a cold drink or a hot dog. They are far from home and would be so grateful for a little love.

There is a professor at Harvard Business School named Clayton Christensen who wrote the most amazing essay about Why he believes...I highly recommend it. You can find it here...

http://www.claytonchristensen.com/pdf/Why_I_Belong_and_Why_I_Believe.pdf

They're Back!!!

So this mama bird is flying around looking for the perfect place to build a nest of sticks and poop. And she sees....a red door! that's the ticket! What other bird is going to have a nest next to a red door?
So being one stylin' rockin' mama bird that is exactly what she does.... just like one of her predecessors did last year.
A trend is borne...along with a couple of baby birds only a mother could love.

So the population of my house went up a couple when Stylin' rockin' Mama Bird popped out these cuties. Holy cats! They don't look like they're done do they?

Only a mother could love these little darlings....

I love what she's done with the place, don't you?

I hope they fly away soon...I am getting tired of being attacked by a Stylin' Rockin' mama bird every time I open the door. I was here first.

It's odd to have a nest in the decidedly not real wreath on my red front door. And I forget every time I open the door that I am only a guest here...and Stylin' Rockin' mama bird is in charge.

The little teamsters in the bird union should kick in on the power bill. Then I wouldn't be so cranky. But as it is the little organizers have simply taken over. Strong union.

Proves that even in the animal kingdom being unique rocks.