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Monday, March 22, 2010

Forgiveness, Donna Style

So, as I said before I am on a journey. I have decided that the first stop on my journey is forgiveness. Now that sounds just right doesn't it? Every single self-help book insists on forgiveness first. Seems it is a road block to progression, who knew? So, since I am determined to succeed on my journey I have decided to forgive any and all people who have systematically colluded (oooo that's a big word...col·lude [kuh-lood)–verb,-lud·ed,-lud· act together through a secret understanding, esp. with evil or harmful conspire in a fraud.)to make me unhappy.

I doubt you will find your name on this list, so please,read on.

I am going to start with RJ Wolever. RJ was my boyfriend senior year in high school...he dumped me two weeks before homecoming for a JV cheerleader. I know it was awhile ago but public humiliation has a long, long shelf life. Unfortunately I can't do anything about the fact I put a curse on him that resulted in early baldness. But at least now he is now forgiven, check.

OK that felt good, let's see who is next...Duke!! That's right Duke, I forgive them for beating UNLV in 1991. I bought a non-refundable airfare ticket and inflated Championship game ticket to watch my beloved Rebels in Indianapolis. My plans were changed by Bobby Hurley of Duke and his crowd. It was awful, and I vowed to never forgive them. OK? check, check...ooooh this is getting harder.

I forgive the woman at the town board meeting who screamed at me and said I should be ashamed of myself for, of all things, supporting a middle school. I can still see her face...that was a bad day. Check, check, check...that was a tough one..she was a shrew.

I forgive my biological parents for giving me genes that do not allow me to eat anything I want. That bites...OK, forgiven...

I forgive the player from hell who gave Mikey the concussion ending his Junior season. (wow, that was really hard) I also forgive the equally annoying player who didn't throw Trey the ball when he was open in the end zone. It would have won a play-off game...wait! This one might be too hard. Nah, what the heck! Forgive the guy!! OK!!

I forgive the teacher who was mean to Ashleigh. You know who you are....Wow, I can't do much more....OK. OK. Just one more and then I seriously must be left with some grudges...Here is the very last one......I forgive you know who, for you know what. There, finished. Now life can go on smoothly, karmically charged, clean slate.

Wow..that was cathartic. My road to Wellville continues.