Thursday, April 2, 2015
When my life story has been written, and I hope it is when I am very old so I can soften the edges of my personal emergencies, yesterday will go down as one of my most memorable. To say so much is occurring at one time would be an understatement. In the middle of a very shallow breathing episode and tremendous anxiety, I began a fast. I wanted my world to calm down so I could gain perspective and find some direction. When I am in full "run for your life" panic I cannot see solutions. It is only when I find a way to be calm, that solutions come. Not easy, but completely necessary. I don't have to find peace yet, just give myself a chance to find peace.
I understand that it is good for the soul to stretch, but when you feel as though there is no room left to stretch then joy disappears. I try to think of life without problems, because avoidance feels better, but life will never be without problems. We can find peace in the storm. This is a very hard concept for me, because it takes a great deal of effort. Having a fit and crying is easy and takes no effort at all. You don't need control, you don't need to think, or care about anyone around you...just let it explode. But you learn nothing, no solutions come because there is no truth inside a tantrum.
I realize we all have different beliefs and most everyone goes through the same process. We search for something to believe in, try a few beliefs on for size, wear them for awhile, and see if they fit. If we like them then, hey, we go from there. If not we return them to the belief counter and continue looking. I follow the teachings of Jesus Christ because they are so simple. Love one another, be peaceful, forgiving and grateful. I keep a picture next to my computer of the Savior standing in a ship surrounded by frightened men in a terrible storm. The story is the wind and waves are pounding and He is asleep. The men on the ship wake him scared to death asking him, "do you not care if we perish?" The Savior stands, puts His hands up and the waves and wind subside. He could sleep because He knew everything would be ok. I have much more in common with the men on the ship than I do in believing the Savior will calm the storm. Being frantic is more my style than finding serenity. Sometimes I want to just sit by the side of the road and let the wolves eat me, but that is not what the Savior wants. He wants to save us, pick us up, pull us up if need be all to save us in a storm. There is a scripture that is widely misinterpreted, "After all we can do, we are saved by Grace alone" It's the "after all we can do" that throws people. They feel that they must somehow earn favor, when all we have to do is follow the Savior. And that means, Love each other, Be grateful, Be forgiving and Be peaceful. Religions and beliefs have these things in common because they work.
It's not easy to find peace in a storm, but it's possible, and then we can sleep though any storm.