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Friday, December 7, 2012

What's in a license plate?

I must tell you about the personalized license plate I saw today.  It was on a car about 2 car lengths in front of me.  It read, "Biotch".  Seriously?

At first I thought I was seeing things...I mean who  does that?  Who puts such a thing on their license plate?  Of course my next move was to speed up and see who was driving.  I had to see the owner of the license plate.....

Wow, talk about truth in advertising

No kidding,.....this woman's license plate could not have been more truthful.  She could have frightened Hannibal Lecter.  One look at this woman and I locked the car doors....and I was driving down the freeway!

Another entry in my big book of things to never do.

Don't put Biotch on your license plate.

Let people find out on their own.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

That special time of the year!!!!

It is indeed the most wonderful time of the year!  That time we so look forward to.....and celebrate every year.

That's right ....mammogram time!

The mammogram mambo!  The TaTa Tango!  The Boobie Bogie!  Oh how I love it!

I was especially fortunate to have as my special technician, Caligula.  Actually that might be insulting to the real Caligula, who was decidedly less brutal.

Oh she had a lovely disposition, cracked a lot of mammogram jokes.  I was especially entertained by how she was able to "squeeze" me in. That sort of humor never fails to put me at ease and distract me from having my delicate girls literally pulled off the front of my back.  She brought me to absolute confusion as we played mammogram twister.  She told to face the machine, put your arm here, and if the machine is "digging" into your arm pit, well we are doing it right!  Hooray!  Love the pain!   And then if standing in this unbelievably uncomfortable position wasn't enough, the computer didn't load up and I had to maintain my stance until it did, or I died.  I am made of great stuff, but i swear i almost fainted.  And Caligula kept smiling,laughing and cracking wise.

And I get to follow this up with a colonoscopy next month.  Our equivalent of flagellation.

The moral of the story is pain seems to be the common denominator to good health.

Who knew?