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Saturday, September 12, 2015

A Girl Just Trying To Have Fun

If you're like me and can't get enough of errands on Saturday read on.

This Saturday is the day I fulfill a promise to go exercise with a friend. As we drive there she tells me about the whole operation.  Do what you can, don't do anything to hurt yourself, don't worry if you throw up or pass out.  


I have no intention of passing out in front of people I don't know, I would rather pass out in front of people who would feel obligated to take really good care of me.

Then the woman next to me passed out.  


Isn't this the kind of thing they put on warning labels? Don't operate heavy machinery, don't spill this coffee in your lap....don't go to exercise classes where people could pass out.

I worked around what didn’t look fun.  My burpees were lame, my push ups were against the wall and forget  "running man".  I knew my water would break and I'm not even pregnant.  The woman who passed out spent the rest of the class on the ground, feet propped up, a fan focused on her face and an ice pack on her head.  Good to know.

Then a few errands. Go to Kohls, return stuff to Walmart, get gas, haircolor at the Beauty Supply, Sam's for water, chicken and Asian Salad.

It wasn't as easy as you might think.

I watched a woman at Kohls stand for 15 minutes in front of the shoes I wanted to try on. Since the aisles are 10 inches wide there was no room for both of us.  I found shoes but turned around for one second and a salesperson (something I wasn't even aware existed at Kohls) came through and put my box back on the shelf!  And not where it was before so I search then find the shoes.  I go stand in line, to check out only to hear I had saved $68 dollars with my coupon.  Kohls mysterious language of finance. Mark it up to here, discount it, and then try and fool you with a huge number you saved. 

Now gas! The line is forever long so when I finally get to the pump there’s a sign, a very small sign, that reads credit only-no debit.  I look at my debit card and reluctantly drive away to get back in line. Now the line is twice as long so I skip to my next stop...... 

I arrive at the beauty supply to buy my hair color but it isn't on the shelf. I drag an employee away from staring out the window to find it. Then the story they always tell when they don’t want to look for anything is my color is discontinued. Argh!!  As I leave (without hair color) a woman with a Yorkie in her purse asks if she should dye her gray hair blonde. Of course! Not happy with my approval she and the Yorkie ask every woman in the store including the girl with the nose ring, tattoos and blue hair.  

Now Walmart!  I walk in with my bag for the return counter and try to get past the gatekeeper. She puts a sticker on every item I am returning. I have 20 packages of dowels, a broken mixer and some chocolate chips. After 20 minutes at the return counter I feel as though a prison break had occurred. Armed with $42 on a WalMart gift card and endless spending possibilities I buy 3 cantaloupes, a knee brace and a pumice stone.

Now to Sam’s where I walk all the way to the back of the store for bottled water and find they have moved all the water.  A prank Sam's Club pulls often, they like to load up pallets of products then fling them around the store.  Big box store fun.

Then back to the gas pump where the lines are still long but this is errand number last so no choice. Next to me I watch 4 guys pushing a truck to the pump.  

That is how long he had been in line.

Now, who has more fun than me?