Search This Blog

Monday, July 7, 2014

Mother Theresa, Minnie Beckman, Carol and Me

A dear friend inspired this post today.  One, I am so happy to have friends who inspire and two I am glad to have all the answers.

There are four kinds of problems in life.  Marriage problems, health problems, children problems and money problems.  And if you give them enough energy, problems can become a full time job with the added benefit of being completely who you are.  When the focus is entirely on yourself it's very easy to believe the world has life wired,  and   you      just      don't.   We can't see other folk's challenges and trials when all you are doing is looking at your own challenges and trials.  For instance my friend is a fascinating woman with an amazing life story, but some of her friends are only concerned about how much money she has.  They make remarks about how she can afford this or travel there and wouldn't it be nice, and hey baby you pay for lunch.  If you are in a weakened place it is easy to see other peoples blessings and wonder where is yours?  Why don't I have a better marriage, better health, better children or maybe just the ability to pay my bills?  It doesn't take a MBA from Harvard to know that if the focus is only on problems there is no time to find a solution.   If your boat is leaking do you stop and analyze why the boat is leaking or do you just find a way to fix the dang boat?  It just makes sense to give energy to the solution, not the problem.  After you get your boat to the shore all anyone is going to remember is how you acted when your boat was leaking.  The problem will eventually be over and all you will have left is how you handled the leaking boat.  Hysteria and panic or calm and measured thinking?  I don't know why but this well thought out logic leads me to a funny thing from the Southern wisdom of my Grandmother who said, "I don't mind suffering in silence, as long as everyone knows." Minnie was always good for a real life she was Scarlett O'Hara, making  the best of everything and never without a Cadillac.

You don't have to be Mother Theresa through all trials and tribulations, because some things are definitely worth a pout, but don't let it become who you are.  Our trials shouldn't define us, our victories should.

And this is from begets energy and the opposite of energy is atrophy. Definition of atrophy? Gradual decline in effectiveness or vigor due to underuse or neglect.  

I learned this the hard way.  The very hard way.

I am the most unhappy when I only focus on my problems, but I am blissfully happy when I am serving others.  If I focus on my problems I am lethargic and hopeless, while if I serve others I have energy and joy.

I am not suggesting you find a widow and paint her house, just be nice to people, say thank you.  If someone offers you some anger return it with kindness.  Send a thank you note or a thank you email, heck...text someone and tell them how big and strong and fabulous they are.

Solutions not problems....