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Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Bill Cosby - The aftermath

So it seems my "little blog that could" caused quite a bit of commotion a few weeks ago.  I wrote the story, the very true story, of an experience with (here is the link) Bill Cosby.  To say I wasn't prepared for the reaction would be an understatement.  When I saw how many people were reading my blog I was sad....all I could think of was, "so this is how you get people to read your blog, report some kind of a train wreck."  I was hoping folks would read my blog for sage advice and pithy rejoinders.

First, my Facebook page blew seemed every friend I had read it and every one of them commented.  Bless their hearts, everyone believed me.  That was a relief, even though I really didn't care if anyone believed me, it was still nice.  It was sobering when women started privately contacting me with their stories.  Some about Cosby, but not all.  Some who had an experience like mine they wanted to share.  We formed a sisterhood and it felt good to connect.  I knew how they felt and they appreciated what I like to call, "a safe place to fall".  It was a place of trust and acceptance.

Bill Cosby is hardly alone in using power as a tool to get what he wanted, assuming he could act any way he wanted because he was, after all, Bill Cosby.  I was fortunate that Wendy was with me, and blessed even more that she was extremely convincing and unshakeable.  A lot of the women who wrote to me didn't have that...

During the last few weeks we have read the Rolling Stone article about the rape at the University of Virginia fraternity which turned out to be fabrication.  As much as I hate men who use power incorrectly I despise women who do.  The reason the term, "crying rape" is the same as "crying wolf" is because of women like the one in the article and the one who wrote it.  The author found the same thing I did, folks respond to scandal and sensationalism.  In this case I don't know where the real story is, but credibility is lost. Bill Cosby's attorneys are going to point to that article as proof women "make these things up"  Rolling Stone and the author should have some serious consequences...they have impacted the lives of real rape victims everywhere.

My blog was picked up by (here) Norm Clark from the Las Vegas Review Journal.  I spoke with him because he is a well known columnist with a good reputation and came highly recommend by my friend Amy Ayoub.  The best part of our conversation was he admired my writing and he used my blog almost verbatim in his column.  Several television stations called wanting me to go on the air to discuss the story, also a couple of magazines. I was pretty clear when I told them, "I have said everything I need to say, there is nothing to add."  One was truly persistent, but after a while we agreed I was right.  When Norm's column came out I heard from even more women.  There were some funny stories of old time Vegas sugar daddies, and more sad stories.
Last week I received a letter in the mail from a woman who told me a Bill Cosby story she had only told her husband about.  It was very similar to mine....she was still embarrassed after all these years.

Amy told me not to read the comments in the newspaper.  Was she ever right...unfortunately my husband had to read them.  He came to me and said, "They aren't so bad, see? This one says you are only half butt ugly.   Really?  None of the trolls in the newspaper upset me, but one person left a comment on my blog that did.  It was from "anonymous" saying that it was the Salem Witch trials, and how could anyone believe me if I hadn't been vetted.

Vet away baby...I know what happened.

And a comment from someone I thought was my friend castigating me for writing about something Cosby probably doesn't even remember.  Really?  Who cares if he remembers?  I do.

So the blog about Bill Cosby had considerable more viewership than the blog I just wrote on Mustangs in Cold Creek, but given a choice I would much rather write about beautiful Mustangs than dirty dogs.

So Bill Cosby I am finished, your bad behavior is now erased from my memory.  No matter what happens from here I am finished. I hope the rest of the women receive closure also.