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Tuesday, January 31, 2017

In the Blink of an Eye

I have always known that life can change in the blink of an eye, we all know that, but what do we do when life literally changes in the blink of an eye?

On November 20 of last year I blinked in a big way.

I  remember so little....Sunday night we came home from the airport with our oldest daughter who had just come in from Texas for Thanksgiving week. Everyone went to bed except me. I love being alone when it is quiet and I can read, think or just watch TV. About 10 I went to bed and immediately experienced the sharpest pain in my chest, unlike anything I have ever felt. I jumped up and thought I could "walk it off". I got as far as the den and couldn't walk any further. I literally crawled back into my bedroom and woke up my husband. I was terrified and I know I terrified him. The first thing we did was have a prayer, then he called our good friend Karla, who is an emergency room nurse. She came right over and it only took her a moment to see I needed to be in the hospital. It is so foggy from there on.....I remember the firefighters coming because they were not happy to be there and made me walk to the gurney (no worries, Karma has dealt with them) But that is the end of my memories until Tuesday afternoon. I was unconscious for about 36 hours.

When I woke up I was surrounded by my family. I remember how happy they all were. Huge smiles on their faces and each one hugged me and told me how grateful they were.
Raymond was right next to me holding my hand, Trey and Heidi were there..But that was confusing because they were supposed to be in Italy on their honeymoon. I saw Ashleigh, Mikey, Emma and Kacy, everyone was there. Then my confusion turned to reality. I couldn't move very much, and from all the tubes, machines and pain I assumed there had been an operation so I checked for an incision. I looked like an autopsy.

What happened to me?

One of my doctors walked in the room and introduced herself to me. She said "you had an acute aortic dissection, which means your aorta had a tear in it and you were bleeding internally, if the surgeon had not repaired it when he did you would have died. In fact most people die from this, you are our Thanksgiving miracle."

She said died...she said you would have died. I immediately discounted the word miracle and focused on "died".  And then I had to let it go....too much for right now. Reality was pretty basic at this point when the nurse asked me what my pain level was from 1 to 10..... I held up all 10 fingers.

My change of heart was beginning.

Part 2 to follow...