Search This Blog

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Sequestration, Texas Style...

Aunt Stuff stopped by last night and as always, we talk politics.  Aunt Stuff is an avowed democrat and had told me she will change her party when "hell freezes over".  Also according to Aunt Stuff, if there is one republican left on Earth, hell will never freeze over.
My politics are a bit right of hers so our conversations can become, "spirited".  This time I wanted an explanation.  "Why, O Why Aunt Stuff with all the places they could save money would they chose the  White House tours?"  She gave me that look and said, "let me tell you a little story, it might help you understand."

Now I know Aunt Stuff's stories, she never lets facts get in the way of a good story, and I never know where that line might be, so I take all of her stories with a grain of salt.  So you decide, but here is what she told me.

"In Palo Pinto County Texas in the 1930's times were hard and my aunt and uncle were struggling like everyone else.  Uncle George went to Aunt Tillie with what he saw as a solid solution to his problem.  They had a complicated marriage, she was a fiery Irish girl and he was a pretty buttoned up guy.  Their marriage worked because they followed a few simple, but unspoken, rules.  Being the good Baptists they were, they attended church every Wednesday night and every Sunday.  This was mostly Aunt Tillies rule being the better Baptist, she was just watching out for Uncle George's eternal soul.  Uncle George saw a bit of leverage and made sure there was some strong "cuddling" on Wednesdays and Sundays.  There was one untouchable rule, Aunt Tillie's once a month trip to the "Your Crown and Glory Beauty Shop".  She was a redhead and as you know after a certain age red is not a color that comes naturally to most women. Unfortunately Uncle George's new found austerity measure was Aunt Tillie's once a month stop at the "Your Crown and Glory Beauty Shop".  He told her he was sorry but they had to cut back expenses and they were starting with her red hair.  Aunt Tillie didn't say anything at the time, but the next Wednesday Uncle George was hugging his pillow instead of his favorite redhead.  When the pillow hugging continued on Sunday he asked about it....Aunt Tillie told him she was sorry, but she had to make some cut backs, and that is where she started."

The next Wednesday Aunt Tillie got her hair done and Uncle George didn't hug the pillow.

Aunt Stuff looked me straight in the eye and said.  "I don't know who is Aunt Tillie and who is Uncle George in this Sequester mess, but if one party wants sex they are going to have to let the other party get their hair done. "

Hard to argue with that kind of logic.