We go through life expecting a certain outcome. We get in the car and expect to end up where we planned on going. We expect everyone to come home at the end of the day. We expect the blender to work when we flip a switch, the oven to turn on and the vacuum to work. We expect the remote to change channels and the bread to be fresh when we buy it.
And we are shocked when that doesn't occur. Have you ever turned on the oven and waited for it to get hot only to discover it, "wernt (a word my dad always used) never gonna get hot." ?
It is funny how we expect things to go a certain way as though we have some kind of guarantee. But there isn't a guarantee. Things go wrong.....a lot. Appliances break, people have car problems, we lose buttons, and papers. Sometimes we forget to pay a bill. We get turned down for things, broccoli gets stuck in our teeth and sometimes we burp exactly when we shouldn't.
But occasionally in the midst of things going wrong, something goes incredibly, inexplicably right.
I have found I am not very grateful, I expect to be without a headache, I expect there to be money in the bank, I expect my hair to turn out and I expect the milk to be fresh. So when those things don't occur I am shocked, angry and frankly indignant! How dare the world not spin just for me? I am kind of a Scarlet O'Hara, but without the really tiny waistline.
Earth life, as far as I can tell, is a place for us to see what we are made of. God already knows us completely, we just have to find out for ourselves. How do we react when no one is looking? How much can we go through? How kind can we be? What do you do when push comes to shove?
The reason for this posting today is tell my little story. One year ago my son told me about pain he was having in his shoulders. He didn't know where it was from, he plays football in college so we assumed that is what caused it, even though Mikey said it just came from no where. So we did what anyone would do, we went to the doctor provided by our very expensive health insurance. (premiums we pay for ourselves.) He didn't have a diagnosis. He simply said, "It won't get better, it won't get worse." We thought that was odd, but we are trusting people, so he shot him with cortisone and off we went.
The relief lasted 2 months.
Back to the Doctor in March, this time he got a MRI. Results show? Nothing... according to the Doctor, no diagnosis, more shots. Spring football starts, lifting starts, and the pain is now keeping him up at night.
We go back to the doctor the end of May, more shots, no diagnosis....see ya!! Now we are starting to wonder what is going on, the pain never got better, and football, which is how he pays for college so it is like his job, is about to start. He gets more shots in August and not one doctor has tried to make this better, they just mask the problem.
He has a pretty miserable season because he was hurting all the time. We had no idea what to do. So I sent all of his xrays, MRI and doctor notes to our cousin back East who is an orthopedic surgeon. He tells us it can be treated with a 30 minute arthroscopic surgery. No one suggested that before. A diagnosis and a plan!
So he went back to the doctor in December (on our insurance we can only see one orthopedic practice - so he asked to see another doctor in the practice) With all of his papers, 3 case studies on the kind of problem he had to show the doctor according to our cousin. The new doctor? Well he started off with, you will never play football again, I will have to put a plate in, and here are some more shots!! He was devastated, it was no longer about football, it was about being in constant pain with not one doctor trying to help him. We had no where else to go. The only orthopedic practice he could go to has basically ended all of his options. With no recourse and no relief. Except now the news is he will never play football again.
But here is the miracle...and it does happen. It is not in me to give up, especially when I know there is an answer. So we went to see the patient advocate at the orthopedic practice...face to face. She could see he had never gotten a real diagnosis. So she reached out to the insurance company to help us get another opinion from a whole different doctor. Miracle.... How she was able to see that and the doctors couldn't is still a mystery, but I am so grateful she did. The insurance company gave us authorization to go to a highly recommended doctor which we did one week later. Another miracle..He diagnosed the problem in a 30 minute visit...all very similar to our cousin. Another miracle....
Two weeks later he had the surgery and right now he is going to rehab and taking loritabs. It was a bit more extensive than they thought since he had been playing and lifting on a problem that was simply masked. He was lucky it wasn't worse. Another miracle.
The new Doctor said he would be just fine. Do you hear that other doctors? He will be just fine.
So back to my original thesis...we expect a certain outcome, and we are shocked when it doesn't occur. I expected the doctor to help him. He must have known about the surgery Mikey eventually got, why didn't he offer it? I am grateful to the patient advocate, I know she went out on a limb to help us. And I am so grateful we were able to go to a doctor who was able to fix the problem......I know Mikey was watched over. I don't know why the process took so long, but I feel there was a purpose to the whole situation. I may never know what it is, but there was a reason. I feel it, just like I felt there was an answer to his pain. Feelings go a long way. Don't ignore them.
The moral of my story?.....never, ever give up. If you feel something isn't right, incomplete, or wrong, trust your instincts. Keep going until you are satisfied. It is the right thing to do. If you have to play the Braveheart speech a million times to gird up your loins to handle it, do it. Never let anyone tell you to accept what you know is wrong.
And never stop expecting miracles, even in the middle of a bad situation, good things can still occur.
So he went back to the doctor in December (on our insurance we can only see one orthopedic practice - so he asked to see another doctor in the practice) With all of his papers, 3 case studies on the kind of problem he had to show the doctor according to our cousin. The new doctor? Well he started off with, you will never play football again, I will have to put a plate in, and here are some more shots!! He was devastated, it was no longer about football, it was about being in constant pain with not one doctor trying to help him. We had no where else to go. The only orthopedic practice he could go to has basically ended all of his options. With no recourse and no relief. Except now the news is he will never play football again.
But here is the miracle...and it does happen. It is not in me to give up, especially when I know there is an answer. So we went to see the patient advocate at the orthopedic practice...face to face. She could see he had never gotten a real diagnosis. So she reached out to the insurance company to help us get another opinion from a whole different doctor. Miracle.... How she was able to see that and the doctors couldn't is still a mystery, but I am so grateful she did. The insurance company gave us authorization to go to a highly recommended doctor which we did one week later. Another miracle..He diagnosed the problem in a 30 minute visit...all very similar to our cousin. Another miracle....
Two weeks later he had the surgery and right now he is going to rehab and taking loritabs. It was a bit more extensive than they thought since he had been playing and lifting on a problem that was simply masked. He was lucky it wasn't worse. Another miracle.
The new Doctor said he would be just fine. Do you hear that other doctors? He will be just fine.
So back to my original thesis...we expect a certain outcome, and we are shocked when it doesn't occur. I expected the doctor to help him. He must have known about the surgery Mikey eventually got, why didn't he offer it? I am grateful to the patient advocate, I know she went out on a limb to help us. And I am so grateful we were able to go to a doctor who was able to fix the problem......I know Mikey was watched over. I don't know why the process took so long, but I feel there was a purpose to the whole situation. I may never know what it is, but there was a reason. I feel it, just like I felt there was an answer to his pain. Feelings go a long way. Don't ignore them.
The moral of my story?.....never, ever give up. If you feel something isn't right, incomplete, or wrong, trust your instincts. Keep going until you are satisfied. It is the right thing to do. If you have to play the Braveheart speech a million times to gird up your loins to handle it, do it. Never let anyone tell you to accept what you know is wrong.
And never stop expecting miracles, even in the middle of a bad situation, good things can still occur.
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ReplyDeleteI agree with you that people should never ever give up. And just like your thesis, I think people shouldn’t just give up on what they believe in. And yes, miracles do occurs so it just fine to believe on it, but don’t ever depend on it to change your life.
ReplyDeletethis is a great blog!
ReplyDeleteGBU Donna,
avanza