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Monday, July 7, 2014

Mother Theresa, Minnie Beckman, Carol and Me





A dear friend inspired this post today.  One, I am so happy to have friends who inspire and two I am glad to have all the answers.

There are four kinds of problems in life.  Marriage problems, health problems, children problems and money problems.  And if you give them enough energy, problems can become a full time job with the added benefit of being completely who you are.  When the focus is entirely on yourself it's very easy to believe the world has life wired,  and   you      just      don't.   We can't see other folk's challenges and trials when all you are doing is looking at your own challenges and trials.  For instance my friend is a fascinating woman with an amazing life story, but some of her friends are only concerned about how much money she has.  They make remarks about how she can afford this or travel there and wouldn't it be nice, and hey baby you pay for lunch.  If you are in a weakened place it is easy to see other peoples blessings and wonder where is yours?  Why don't I have a better marriage, better health, better children or maybe just the ability to pay my bills?  It doesn't take a MBA from Harvard to know that if the focus is only on problems there is no time to find a solution.   If your boat is leaking do you stop and analyze why the boat is leaking or do you just find a way to fix the dang boat?  It just makes sense to give energy to the solution, not the problem.  After you get your boat to the shore all anyone is going to remember is how you acted when your boat was leaking.  The problem will eventually be over and all you will have left is how you handled the leaking boat.  Hysteria and panic or calm and measured thinking?  I don't know why but this well thought out logic leads me to a funny thing from the Southern wisdom of my Grandmother who said, "I don't mind suffering in silence, as long as everyone knows." Minnie was always good for a chuckle...in real life she was Scarlett O'Hara, making  the best of everything and never without a Cadillac.

You don't have to be Mother Theresa through all trials and tribulations, because some things are definitely worth a pout, but don't let it become who you are.  Our trials shouldn't define us, our victories should.

And this is from me....energy begets energy and the opposite of energy is atrophy. Definition of atrophy? Gradual decline in effectiveness or vigor due to underuse or neglect.  

I learned this the hard way.  The very hard way.

I am the most unhappy when I only focus on my problems, but I am blissfully happy when I am serving others.  If I focus on my problems I am lethargic and hopeless, while if I serve others I have energy and joy.

I am not suggesting you find a widow and paint her house, just be nice to people, say thank you.  If someone offers you some anger return it with kindness.  Send a thank you note or a thank you email, heck...text someone and tell them how big and strong and fabulous they are.

Solutions not problems....


13 comments:

  1. Minnie is hilarious. And you are astute. Great advice, wise and true.

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    1. You would have loved her....she never suffered fools and never went out of the house without her purse and shoes matching....she also counted the silver before certain family members left.

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  2. Well, someone certainly lit your wick, today! Sometimes, this is exactly what I want to say to people, and other times this is exactly what I need to hear. Are you still a hypocrite if you know your a hypocrite? ;)

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    1. wonder why that didn't go to the reply section? I really wanted you to know that if you know you are a hypocrite it's fine

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  3. No, if you know you are a hypocrite it's fine. And I am glad you found something you needed to hear....I need someone to tell me what to eat

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  4. I like this! I have been working on commuter glitches all day and had to have myself a bit of a fit but since that didn't solve the problem I went back to work. I will analyze tomorrow!

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    1. Good for you!! We are just a circle of life....one of us an epiphany, shares with everyone and we all do better. I hope your computer gets fixed. I know you can do it.

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  5. Wise advice. It can be so easy to sink into comparison/envy mode...our culture seems to encourage that kind of behavior.
    Thanks for a nice reminder of the benefits of positive thinking.

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    1. Walker!! (worlds best writers name) Thank you for the comment, and looking forward to our project

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  6. Yes, I liked this post - just what I needed to hear. And I LOVE Minnie! I need someone like her today too.

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    1. Karen!! Thank you for loving Minnie, she was a true babe

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  7. I really liked reading this, Donna. Thank you for sharing, you are so right! It is all too easy to get caught up in yourself and lose track of everything else.

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    1. Thanks Morgan!! I wrote this for myself, I need reminding more than anyone else....

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