Today was my first big challenge because I didn't want to go, I didn't want to work out.....I had so much to do, and I went back to my old tapes that told me work was first....
I used to listen to those tapes, but today I didn't and worked out anyway.
After getting there I was very honest with my trainer. I told him I had forced myself to come because I had so much to do. How do I justify working out first? Isn't this hopeless anyway? Who am I kidding I can get into shape? He tells me it isn't a hard day, but a "challenging" day. He then shows me how to do today's exercises, but when I try to do them it takes several times for my brain to formulate a plan. The first time through the circuit is usually filled with additional instruction so the process is humbling. And then I wonder how did I let myself get so far out of shape? However he never lets me speak badly of myself or give up. In the past those two things have been my go-to exercise mantras.
It isn't easy to trust a new voice, is it?
Today this exercise reminded me of cirque du soleil performers and it kicked my trash. I thought I would fall right on my back and I did not want to do it...but....
I am starting to believe in myself. And each time I finish a workout I feel such an accomplishment!
The other day I did the ropes which always makes me feel powerful! I conjure up JJWatts and go for it!
This process has been challenging because I haven't done anything like it in years and it takes time to reeducate mind and body. There is a difference this time, in the past when exercise became challenging I just gave up. Now I understand what a mistake that was.
This week I met with the doctor at Biometrix to go over my blood work. The panel is extensive and quite different from what my other doctors have asked for. My doctors have different concerns so my surgeon, cardiologist and primary care doctor ask for different panels, since they don't get together they don't all know what is going on with me. The panel this doctor requested was for everything. As I sat across from her I was amazed, and heartened, at what she now knew about me.
She told me my vitamin D was so low that she recommended injections to get it back up to where it should be as a hallmark of D deficiency is fatigue, and since vitamin D contributes to the absorption of calcium she said that was another reason to make sure I get that number up. But then on my own research I found Vitamin D, in addition to preventing brittle bones, breaks in the bones and development of osteoporosis, it does a lot more for overall health. The article I found suggested it helped reduce the risk of certain types of cancers (colon, breast and prostate) and also helps reduce the risk of chronic diseases like diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure. Vitamin D also helps to improve the function of lungs and mood. I found this online and I didn't see if their cancer research was footnoted, but honestly my doctor had me at "fatigue".
The rest of my numbers were ok....cholesterol was 20 points too high and my good cholesterol was a bit out of line but that can be easily managed with diet and exercise, so overall she was happy except for one number. And that number frightens me also. It is the CRP or C-reactive Protein. Not to put too fine a point on it but it is a marker for inflammation in the body. Numbers above 3 are alarming and designates a substantial risk for heart disease. With my history, getting that number down is imperative and it was 4.5. Something to work on for sure.
I have said before I feel my surgeon and cardiologist are keeping me alive and I am grateful for that, but I want something more. I know as I continue this program I will get where I want to be.
My fitness goals for the coming week:
Meeting with the dietician for a revamp of my diet and then following it. (We are working with several ideas to find what will be best for me.)
Working out 3 days
Yoga 1 day
Walking 2.5 miles 2 days
Taking all my vitamins and minerals
Personal assessment of program so far:
Knee pain almost gone
Getting up from a sitting position has significant improvement
Strength returning in my right arm from a nasty fall - at first I couldn't even lift from that side.
I am getting better, and I will continue to get better because my long term goal is not to get into my jeans again, but to live as vital a life as I can. I have begun looking at health as my most important job, because without health nothing else will matter very much.
Biometrix is compensating a portion of the monthly fee for my participation in the program.