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Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Ripple Effect

I found out that a dear friend passed away today.  I knew it was coming, she wrote about it often and bravely. (Craigandmichele.blogspot.com)

But that didn't make the finality of her passing any less painful.  I was away all day and when I got home my oldest son told me of her passing, he knew her well also, her children, my children...we are all intertwined.  After he told me I did what we all do nowadays, I went on Facebook and read hundreds of posts.  Then my younger son called....a mom died.  Someone's mom that he knew very well.  Children his same age...a mom his mother's age.  Mortality is real.

I read the condolences, all written for a life well lived.  This could have happened to any of us.  We all know that.....Her last blog post was simply profound, she explained death in a way I had never thought of before.  Although it didn't lessen our loss, it was a balm of Gilead, and so poignant that it came from her.  I am going to print that last blog to put on my desk.  I am grateful I knew her, and knew her well.  We worked on articles together, she critiqued my writing, encouraged me to continue...to write!!  We spoke of precious things, sacred things.  She shared some of her deepest heartaches with me as we traveled a similar road for a while.  We spoke more than once how grateful we were "in it together" so to say.  To have someone truly understand a difficult path is a gift, and we both felt it.

I will miss her, but so, so many will miss her.  Hers, was truly, a life well lived.

But then something else occurred.  Something completely unexpected....I am member of a group of women on Facebook called "The Women of Midlife".  It is a group of amazingly talented women who write, market, publish, troubleshoot and support.  I love to write and this group gives me permission to write and fail, to write and succeed.  To laugh with me, cry with me, pout, get angry or simply just throw things.  I am intimidated to no end by these women because they are what my daddy would call, "real writers.....you know the ones who get published."  And I am...well, not published.  But it doesn't matter, they still let me sit at the big kids table and talk about self-publishing, and book tours and being on TV and radio...and the internet.  I love reading about their agents and dead raccoons, being on TV with people I have actually heard of.  So tonight when one of these "real writers" said she was going to write a book I had to post about my friend Michele....

This is what I wrote.....

"After Lisa just posted she intended to write a book I knew I had to write to all of you.  A dear friend of mine died today.  A vibrant author, mother of 5, grandmother to lots and friend to all.  She was a writer of books, magazines, articles and music.  She chronicled her illness through her blog for the past couple of years.  Her last post was Saturday, she wasn't bitter about dying, but very sad to leave her family.  If she was writing to you right now she would tell you to write, write that book, article, essay, whatever...but write!!  We all have goals hidden down under our angst, or tucked away from our confidence.  You can sit for an hour every day and put your words down.  You can!!  If you can work out for an hour, or blow up Facebook for an hour, or text or shop or watch TV you can spend an hour writing.  My friend left behind a great deal of work, an amazing legacy which leads me to wonder if I will achieve my goals, or just talk about them?"

Here is the amazing part, I immediately recievied an outpouring of love from so many of the women....so many!  Such beautiful sentiments and cyber hugs....Michele's death was personal to me....but by way of the nexus of friendship her death touched women she never knew.

It's called the Ripple effect...



"The Ripple effect is based on the understanding that we are all connected.  These connections stretch like an incredibly interwoven and complicated tapestry.  Each of us exists within this tapestry.  Thoughts and actions are like stones dropped in a pond and they create ripples that travel outward."  (http://humanityhealing.org/who-we-are/the-ripple-effect/)

We are all connected, whether we want to admit that or not.....I am connected to Michele and in a Facebook post I connected her to other women and they accepted the connection....  

I have put a note on my computer, "an hour for Michele"......I will write an hour a day for her.  It doesn't have to be profound...it just has to be an hour.  

To my close friends who are sad at Michele's passing, we were so blessed!!  And that will never go away.  

Ponder the ripple effect, because no matter how quiet you think you are living your life, you are creating ripples....we are all much bigger than we realize.

We just need to know one thing, where are your ripples heading?



In memory of Michele Garvin...her legacy is long.  

31 comments:

  1. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing her with me through this post and on FB.

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    1. thank you for reading...she would have loved this!!

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  2. I am feeling that ripple here in my heart - at my desk in Coronado. All of these wonderful memories you shared - happy and sad will be alive forever in your heart. Thank you for this beautiful post.

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    1. I hope you do feel it, it is real....if we allow the world to brush up against us in positive ways we are made into a special kind of resilience

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  3. I could say a million things, but really, all that matters is that I am so sorry for your loss and the world's loss of a special woman.

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    1. My Carol.....you always say just the right thing. hugs

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  4. Loving tribute to your friend Michele. And what an amazing gift she has passed on to you...and to others.

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    1. To the woman with the best name in the world!! Thank you for reading....she would have loved this

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  5. Of course I am sorry to learn of your loss. Truly beautiful tribute and on so many levels too. And now I have an image of you, although we have never met, a year from now. You will have devoted all those 'hours for Laura,' the gift of which will be the well of words that will come from time spent with the page. Now imagine the pieces you choose to publish here on your blog, each with the power to spread like ripples out into the world as this tribute has. It just doesn't get any more 'real' than that. Thank you for sharing your friend, and you, today.

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    1. Oh my Elin.....to choose to associate with writers is truly the greatest blessing. We just bathe in amazing words...

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  6. This is so beautiful, but what you said on Midlife--wow. It made me lecture myself in a good way and get to work

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Death is never right, it seems and it's so hard when it affects both you and your children.

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    1. You have words to share...it is the stewardship of the gift you have been given. To not use that gift, to hide your light helps no one. We have to push through, to sacrifice a little but the blessing of a book, or an article, or even a beautiful phrase is priceless

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  7. I'm so sorry for your loss. I do love, though, your pondering of the ripple effect. I live my life by the ripple effect, have for years, hoping I'm creating positive ripples that will resonate and continue far longer than I could imagine.

    Yes, mortality is for real. And scary and sad... especially for a youngster (no matter how young) considering the possible (and probable) morality of a parent.

    Great, thoughtful post.

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    1. Idid it again....I wrote the reply to you in the wrong place. Will I ever figure this out? So read below my response to you...

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  8. We are at the age when losing friends becomes all to frequent. I wrote about losing one of mine last week, so I understand what you are feeling now and my thoughts are with you. I loved what you posted on FB -- I found it to be inspirational.

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    1. Thank you Helene, that means a lot to me. I have received a great deal from the women of midlife. More than any of you will know. I have spent quite a long time hiding my light...no more. I am going to take the chance to write. My love to you...

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  9. Thank you Lisa...we know if our ripples are positive or not....so I do not doubt yours are positive. I appreciate your words..hugs

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  10. Thank you for sharing your lovely remembrance about your friend. I am so very sorry for your loss.

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  11. Thank you for sharing, Donna. What a difficult thing for you and her family. But it sounds like Michele left behind a wonderful legacy of love, faith, developing your talents, and pursuing your dreams. A life well lived, indeed.

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    1. Thank you Krista...she did indeed leave her mark in such a positive and loving way. I needed to write it, I had to let everyone else know her too.

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  12. Thank you for this tribute to my mother. I love hearing how she has inspired others. She is the greatest woman who touched many lives, especially mine. I am too grateful for all that she taught me and encouraged me to do.

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    1. Oh Tauna, I am soooo glad you read this. She told me to write, not to hide my light. It has taken a lot of courage to on my part to do it, but I look at what she did and her example of courage pushes me along. I know enough about things to know the phrase "watching over you" is real. She will always be in your life....always. Love to you, and I am one of the millions who will drop everything to do anything you need, any time!!

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  13. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend a few months ago. I am writing for her.

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    1. I am sorry you lost your friend. No matter what losing someone is so hard. But writing helps...it really, really does

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  14. I'm so sorry for your loss, Donna. I totally believe in the ripple effect, and you are proof of it by spreading the love.

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    1. I just came on today and read the comments left by such amazing people. And I saw that Michele's daughter left a comment. Michele's funeral was yesterday....I am so happy her daughter could read it. We have the ability to help heal...we just need the courage to do it. Sometimes we think we are imposing, but our souls know just what to say. Thank you Lois, you are an inspiration to me.

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  15. What a beautiful tribute. It makes my heart sad and joyous at the same time. You and your friend were both fortunate to have each other. I have lost many friends and family, and I so wish they had been writers! I hope my daughter(s) and grand twins will read some of what I have written, eventually. And the butterfly effect, as I've always called it, is real.

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    1. It is real.....the butterfly effect....it is. they will read your things, I promise.

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  16. Such a tender and warm tribute to your friend. I am so sorry for your loss, but I can tell that Michele will live on in your heart and continue to ripple... Thank you for rippling my way, too. blessings ~ tanna

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    1. Tanna.....Since I first read your blog, I knew we would be friends if it wasn't for the distance thing, or that we haven't been introduced...just small things. Thank you for reading...

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