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Monday, September 22, 2014

To the nasty little crone who lives in my head....

Yeah, that's right, there is a nasty little crone who lives in my head.  I keep her tied up and gagged most of the time, but every once in a while she escapes and darts out of my mouth before I can stop her.

For instance the famous altercation between the crone and a particularly unpleasant woman at a Wednesday church class of all places, who wanted to meet me in the parking lot.  The crone was out of line, she didn't have to suggest the woman's parents were never married, but once she said that I had to defend her. Or watch her get pummeled.

Then there was the referee at a volleyball game.
The principal at the high school
The home developer who wanted to build a shopping mall too close to our home, the crone went crazy over that one
My husband's employee who had all of our mail forwarded to the football hall of fame after he was fired.  (if that wasn't so clever I would have been mad too)
A certain football coach of my son's that I had to save from the Crone's threat of baldness and impotence
The unfortunate confrontation at the DMV.  The crone asked if this one particular employee got up that morning with the intent of ruining everyone's day.
The woman at the Scout office who had the Crone fired from a volunteer job!

There are other situations so I don't need to go on and on.  It has not been easy keeping the crone under wraps when all she wants to do is rant.  She sees one thing out of line (oh please don't bring up politics!) and makes the day very interesting for everyone.

And then there was yesterday.  I was watching the movie produced by my church (we are fabulous at short vignettes - used to motivate or uplift.  there is one for almost anything, from death, divorce, illness, being bullied, being a leader....all of them amazingly well done and fun to watch)
But yesterday I watched one that didn't live up to usual clever writing, great filming and entertainment.  The whole movie was about 8 minutes long and I didn't like 30 seconds of it.  Not too bad right?

The crone took it much harder and far more serious than I did.

The upshot of the movie is service.  And particularly the service of one young mother of 3 small children.  No matter what plans she had someone or something got in the way.  Ever had a day like that?  How about almost every day, right?  Her whole game plan was to get through the day, greet a babysitter that evening and drive to the airport to meet a cousin who had a layover.  With all she did she deserved a break to visit a family member!!  She had quite a day, she gave in to her daughters demand for a different breakfast,  as they were walking out of the house they had to stop and help her son finish a procrastinated science project.  A friend came by to ask if she would watch her little girl while she went to the doctor when her sitter fell out.....and still everything was going ok, she was still going to make it to the airport until she remembered a dinner promised to a family that had just had a baby.  Crisis on chaos when she forgot to turn the oven on which put her another hour behind....when she finally delivered the dinner her cousin's plane took off and she didn't get to see her.  The scene of her coming back into her home dejectedly with a text that said "next time" was hard to watch.

I have been there....many, many times.  Is it bad time management?  The inability to say no?  Not thinking of a pizza delivery when that dinner wasn't ready?  The crone was apoplectic. Say no!  Have boundaries!!!  Get a pizza or a rotisserie chicken....but miss the cousin?  It was too much.

The message of the movie is service is good, and it's true, we never know how important we are to other people.  Our heroine saved the day for her daughter, her son, the woman who needed to go to the doctor and the family she brought dinner to.  And that message is valid....

So what ticked off the Crone so very much?

I have been (and I daresay the crone also) the recipient of service on service.  Dinners have come to my home when my parents died, when I had babies, when I had miscarriages, when I had a broken leg....I have had checks left on my porch when my children were serving missions, plates of cookies, bread, jam...candy, friends have come by to clean my house when I was ill, friends helped my children with dorm room supplies, taken them to lunch when they happened to be in the same town my children were in....slipped them some money....service?  It is amazing, and makes you feel loved, cared about and important.  My friends are family.

So what ticked off the Crone so very much?

The crone wanted that young mom to go to the airport to see her cousin.  She had given her entire day to other people...not one time that day did she ask for anything.  The crone was mad because it wasn't fair (and the young mom wasn't fast enough to think o

f take out pizza when the dinner failed)

I stopped the crone for awhile but then she got on Facebook where she found lots of women wondering the same thing she did.  They were mad.  I am a whole lot older than the young mom and I have been in this situation a million times.  So I could have warned her to watch the clock, do as much as you can, but when you run out of options...for heaven's sake, punt!!

I wanted to be in that kitchen with the uncooked casserole and the harried mom and tell her to not worry.....a pizza is fine.  In fact, sometimes it is way more appealing than a casserole.  I would have told her to take a deep breath and remember how much she had done that day and it was ok to change a plan, and still make it to the airport.  But I wouldn't have discounted the importance of service, or that sometimes it is inconvenient.....

The upshot of the movie was how important she had been that day to so many people.

And she never knew.

I have written many times that we rarely know how important we are to people.  I remember the mother of a child I taught tell me that I probably never think about them, but they pray for me every night.  It took my breath away.  Sometimes things are much bigger than we are.

There is an amazing scripture that says, "Ye have not applied your hearts to understanding, therefore, ye have not been wise.  Therefore, what teach ye this people?"

Simple, isn't it?  Be smart and be prayerful about what you can do and then follow your impressions.  Trust yourself.

Once again, the crone went too far......she usually does.


  1. Exactly! Well said, Donna. And thank YOU for the numerous times you've helped me. You probably don't even remember.

    1. Thank you Heather, and thank you for always being my friend. I know you are always there.

  2. It's funny that two people can watch the same video and get completely different things out of it. What I got from that video was her young son's prayer. "Thanks that we could get done, all you wanted us to do" or something like that. That is what I heard and that is what I took away from the video. We do accomplish so much, and some times we think we have done nothing, because the one thing we wanted to do, didn't get done. Instead, we have to look at what the Lord wants and needs us to do. She did everything He needed her to do. I like to remember that. On my days were I feel disappointment, did I accomplish what He wanted me to do, or am I only thinking of what I wanted to do? Also, I love that the little child taught his mom. That happens so often to us as parents.

    1. I know, right? Isn't it wonderful to get 2 different things out of it? I can appreciate everything you contribute and I hope you enjoy mine. It is the give and take in life that makes it fun!!

  3. I don't know why all I want to do is say "Bravo! Donna!" Well done and such good points. I like the crone a lot.

    1. Thank you dear friend!! I am very happy to introduce the crone. I have been trying to find a delicate way to introduce the raggedy side of my personality. The side my family wishes would simply be quiet.
      Sadly (or not) she cannot be quiet...kisses my friend!!

  4. Oh, Donna. This is sooooo good. We need your voice. And the Crone's voice, too.

    1. I looooooove the crone! Isn't she delicious? Now I have a vehicle for all those dementia it!!

  5. What I got out of it is that the crone really wanted a pizza.

  6. The crones voice is perfect; I have a crone of my own. I'm older now, so I have the upper hand, even so, every now and then she strikes with a stream of heat. I would have hoped the young mom's respite would have happened; wonder how the same message would have been done with a young house father?