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Friday, July 3, 2015

A Little Marriage Advice....


Flowers by Ray Ray - Kelly Andrews wedding
Today is my anniversary....I have done the impossible for 36 years.  Ginger Rodgers said, "I do everything Fred Astaire does, only I do it backwards, and in heels."  I'm not minimizing my husband in our marriage because, he has done plenty of dancing and has spent a lot of time tryng to dodge my "heels".   Not wanting to make the plans for today,  I mentioned it was an even year and he was in charge of what we do.  Even with that I did suggest we go to the Bellagio for lunch.  Immediately he said, "The Bellagio Buffet!"  to which I said, "no buffet, I hate buffets, I eat too much and I feel like a tick afterward"

We ate at the buffet.  It's an even year.

Lesson 1.  Pick your battles. Most annoying things aren't nearly as annoying as you think.  Just start chanting in your head.  Insisting on being right all the time isn't as satisfying as you may think.  Sometimes just being quiet is a very good thing.

Lesson 2. To my gay and lesbian friends advice to you is the same as for anyone else. You have now gone from a comitted relationship to an institution with a 60% chance of failure.  The heterosexuals haven't been great with it.  I can help my gay friends with advice but not my lesbian friends, I am too conflicted since I think the woman is always right.  So lesson #2 is be loyal, in everything.  Don't say negative things about your husband to your mom, or complain about your wife to the family.

Lesson 3. Remember normal is only normal if it is your normal.  In our house I watch football and my husband watches the Barefoot Contessa.  I like to write, he arranges flowers, and I kill the bugs.

Lesson 4.  To the newly married....if anyone tells you not to go to bed angry....ignore them!  I cannot think of a worse time to fight or discuss, than when you are exhausted.  And most importantly when your spouse is going nuts, yelling and out of control, don't believe a single thing they say.  No one tells the truth when they are in "the vortex".  Might as well start chanting in your head again.

Lesson 5. To my friends with a suddenly empty nest,  don't panic and thnk you won't have anything to say to your spouse..  The kids will be back....there aren't any jobs out there they can support themselves with.  Problem solved you still don't have to talk.

Leson 6. To my retired friends.  Respect space because everyone needs time to think.  But more than that stay married.  The grass isn't greener., the men aren't better somewhere else and the women aren't prettier.  If you are having problems find a therapist work it out and then ride it out, it at all possible. Dare to believe you might be part of the problem.

Today I looked at my husband and said, "I would marry you again."  He said, "me too."

That's all I can ask.  And next year is an odd year, no buffet.




8 comments:

  1. Wow. Let me count all the ways I love this. Well done, you. And happy anniversary to you and El Raymond.

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  2. Congrats on year 36. I'm a newbie, Only working on year 33.
    Still trying to figure out what works.

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  3. Dear friends i want to use this medium to say a very big thanks to Dr Shine On How i got my boyfriend back. Am Bella Johnson by name I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr Shine he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the Dr Shine only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is: divinemercysolutiontemple@gmail.com or call him +2348069502126

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  4. Congrats, and Happy Anniversary!

    ReplyDelete
  5. What a wonderful and a straight forward spell caster that has brought back joy and happiness into my life after i saw a post on how he helped a lady called Jennifer Lawrence from London,i decided to contact him for help when i told this God sent man Dr John on how my lover left me for 2 years without calling nor texting me,When i shared this my sad experience with Dr John he said everything would be okay within 2 days i was like am i sure what this man is saying is real,So i decided to give a try and he even surprised me the most at first i was also thinking he was a scam i taught he was like other spell caster who come online to add pain to peoples pain not knowing there feelings but to make money,But this great man Dr John is never like that his own is for good and make people to be happy with the one they love,Am just so happy,Even before the 3 days i just got a call from a man who has left me for 2 years saying he his sorry and that he wants me back to his life i was so happy,He invited me for a dinner which i meant him there and we both talked and he said he wants to prove that he would never leave me for any other lady again he engaged me and also make me had access to all his account am so happy all thanks goes to this great man Dr John a man who has brought back joy to my life,Please friends that needs help i would advice and swear that Dr John is the right man and not those fake ones who are online to make money and not to help here is Dr John private mail spellofsolution11@gmail.com or add him on whats-app +2347053113465; I am Sajawal Aisha by name.or his website,http://spellofsolution11.wix.com/solutionhome

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a wonderful and a straight forward spell caster that has brought back joy and happiness into my life after i saw a post on how he helped a lady called Jennifer Lawrence from London,i decided to contact him for help when i told this God sent man Dr John on how my lover left me for 2 years without calling nor texting me,When i shared this my sad experience with Dr John he said everything would be okay within 2 days i was like am i sure what this man is saying is real,So i decided to give a try and he even surprised me the most at first i was also thinking he was a scam i taught he was like other spell caster who come online to add pain to peoples pain not knowing there feelings but to make money,But this great man Dr John is never like that his own is for good and make people to be happy with the one they love,Am just so happy,Even before the 3 days i just got a call from a man who has left me for 2 years saying he his sorry and that he wants me back to his life i was so happy,He invited me for a dinner which i meant him there and we both talked and he said he wants to prove that he would never leave me for any other lady again he engaged me and also make me had access to all his account am so happy all thanks goes to this great man Dr John a man who has brought back joy to my life,Please friends that needs help i would advice and swear that Dr John is the right man and not those fake ones who are online to make money and not to help here is Dr John private mail spellofsolution11@gmail.com or add him on whats-app +2347053113465; I am Sajawal Aisha by name.or his website,http://spellofsolution11.wix.com/solutionhome

    ReplyDelete